Breathe
by jlhumph
Summary: The Games are over and so is his relationship with Katniss. Peeta struggles to keep himself together and understand it all. He embraces the life of a Victor, to escape his pain and protect those he loves. Rated M. OOC
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is a wild idea I literally just had. **

**If you like it-REVIEW because I'm not certain if I will continue it. **

**Prologue: Forget that the Quarter Quell and Rebellion happened. In this story, it did not. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games. **

**Breathe: Chapter 1**

**Peeta POV**

_Some things don't change. As the scenery goes by while I daydream out the window, I think that to myself. The view looks the same. All the Districts flashing by me in my travels. It's the people that change. I hope so. I certainly hope so... _

We've been back a little over a month now and I can't stand it. Katniss and I have hardly spoken. In fact, I would almost think that she's going out of her way to avoid me. After we arrived home, we quickly moved into our respective houses in Victor's Village. I was almost relieved that my family chose not to move in with me and instead decided to remain living above the Bakery. Mrs. Everdeen and Primrose were all too happy to escape the poverty of the Seam and they moved what they had for belongings in less than a day.

When we first got back, I tried to talk to Katniss. Of course we got all swept up in the media and the reuniting with our family members. It wasn't more than a day or so when I saw Katniss sneaking out of her house and heading towards where the District 12 fence lays. She was already sneaking away to hunt with Gale. I eventually learned through Primrose that Katniss only sees Gale on Sundays. How convenient. She doesn't see me at all. And that's where my problem begins.

I am crushed.

It didn't take me long to figure out that Katniss used me to survive the Games. It's a really bum deal when you survive something so traumatic, lose half your leg, your family feels uncomfortable around you, you have crazy lucid nightmares and the girl you're in love with, the one you thought reciprocated your feelings; gives you the cold shoulder. Makes you wonder why you even bothered to get out of bed in the first place.

My mind has been playing tricks on me. Going over every moment of the Games to determine whether there were more clear warning signs that Katniss used me. I don't see them. She's obviously a great actress. If I didn't, hadn't, loved her so much; then this wouldn't hurt so bad.

After nearly three months of being back and struggling with my constant inner monologue over Katniss, I find myself at Haymitch's house one night. We get hammered on white liquor and I decide that I like how I feel after wards. I feel numb to the pain of losing the only girl that I ever loved, at least for the short while that the booze courses through my veins.

I make a habit of drinking. Some would say even more than Haymitch. Delly calls all the time but I can barely answer the phone, much less carry on a conversation. I jerk off repeatedly. Alternating in my mind, visions of Katniss to propel me towards a release. Some days she's sweet and shy, others, she's a vixen. Either way it fills a void. The booze and the masturbation. That is, until that fateful day.

We were about a month away from the Victory Tour and my drinking had progressed to the point where it was out of control. I wasn't myself. I wasn't even human really. I was so cocked and dejected half the time because Katniss had fallen through my fingers that I could barely get out of bed most days. It was very easy to feel sorry for myself. Sixteen years old, missing a leg, girl I love not speaking to me. Yeah, life pretty much sucked. I suppose I should be grateful for my life, but a life without Katniss, just didn't appeal to me at all.

One night I happen to be in my living room, stumbling around drunk when I saw her sneak out of her house. My mind went wild and I could only think the harshest things in terms of her. She' sneaking out to fuck around with Gale. Not me, Gale. Mental images run through my head of Gale kissing Katniss, running his hands all over her soft body. My mind flashes back to our train ride home, when I held her that night in her compartment. She had had a nightmare and I went to wake her and comfort her. After she calmed down, she had asked, "Stay with me Peeta?" to which I replied, "Always."

It feels like so long ago when in truth it's only been a matter of months. I can't help but feel so alone and unloved. I just want someone to hold me, tell me it's going to be alright. I can't stand the loneliness anymore. I heave on my shoes and grab my jacket and head out of the house towards the center of town. I know where my feet are taking me but I try not to over think my actions and just let myself go.

I arrive outside of Head Peacekeeper Cray's in a matter of less than ten minutes. There are about ten girls waiting outside, begging to be chosen by him. My eyes zero in on her as soon as I see her and I motion for her to follow me. We walk behind the Bakery and it's then that I take notice of her. She easily resembles Katniss. If I closed my eyes, I bet she would feel similar to Katniss too. I place several coins into her hand. "Please tell no one about this. Understood?" I say and she nods in understanding.

I waste no time in letting her know what I want, right there in the alley. I need a release, and not by my own hand. I crash my lips to hers and discover there's an immediate difference as hers are very chapped. She doesn't feel like Katniss at all so far but I push the thought to the back of my mind and try to get lost in my fantasy behind closed eyes. I taker her hand and place it outside of my crotch and she begins to rub my erection.

I don't know if she's ever done this before and I don't care. I unzip my pants and her hand easily slides into my jeans and grips my cock in her hands. She begins to stroke me up and down awkwardly. As great as it feels, I decide to have some pity for the girl and not have sex with her. For all I know she's in love with some Seam boy and is simply doing what she must to secure her next meal. I wiggle my pants down a bit and guide her head to my member. She doesn't hesitate to take me into her mouth and suck my dick.

I feel amazing and disgusting all at once. Still trying to conjure the beautiful image of Katniss while I work towards a release. I feel myself moving closer when I hear the gasp. It's a sound that could be heard around the world. I look over to my left and see Katniss with her hands on her face in shock and tears running down her face. I push this brunette girl away from me and scramble to pull my pants up. It's too late though. Katniss has seen everything. "KATNISS, WAIT! PLEASE, WAIT!" I scream as I rush to catch up with her.

It's not easy but somehow a higher power gives me the strength to run after her on what's left of my leg. I finally catch her about 25 yards past the fence, the bright moon shining down on us. I grab her arm with my hand and spin her around. She hauls off and hits me square on my left cheek. She'll leave a welt, but I deserve it. She's fighting me, trying to escape my grasp but I'm stronger than her, much stronger and now that I have her in my arms, I'm not letting go.

"STOP! JUST STOP! HEAR ME OUT KATNISS! JUST HEAR ME OUT!" I beg. She finally stops her squirming but I don't release my grip on either of her arms. She looks into my blue eyes dead center with her gray ones. We both take deep breaths, trying to steady ourselves. Breath, Peeta. Calm down.

I don't know what to do so I just spill my guts like a squirrel she's about to skin.

"I have been in love with you since I was five years old. Did you hear that? Five years old. I was such a chicken shit, could never get up enough nerve to even speak to you. Then I give you the bread in the rain and say a prayer that my luck will change and that I'll be able to talk to you, even be friends with you. No dice. You had a scowl as usual on your face and I was a chicken-opportunity passed. Then we're in the games and I confess all during my interview. There was no plan at that time Katniss. That was real. Haymitch just ran with it to keep you alive. Yes, I told him to focus on you."

"So everything happens in the Games and needless to say, I'm elated thinking you feel the same way about me. We make it through by some miracle and then get home. What do you do? You hop on the 'I'm ignoring Peeta band wagon!' You pretend like I don't exist and that you had no feelings for me. It was a horrible blow to my heart, not to mention my ego Katniss. I have spent the past five months over analyzing my every move to figure out what I did wrong but come up short. What did I do wrong? Huh? Tell me, I want to know. _What. The. Fuck. Did. I. Do. Wrong?"_

Katniss clears her throat and wets her lips. "You didn't do anything wrong Peeta. Nothing. I did what I had to do to get us out of the Games and home. When we got here, it all came crashing down around me. It was real and I now had to deal with it. I have never wanted to fall in love, get married, have kids. It's not me. I saw what happened to my mother when she lost my father and I don't want that anguish for myself. Of losing the man that I love. So when we got back and I had to confront all of these new feelings for you, I had a few realizations. One, was that I've crushed on you since that day in the rain, when you saved my life. Imagine my shock that I was already four years into a crush on you. Second, my feelings about marriage and kids hadn't changed, even though you were now in the equation. And third, since I wasn't going to budge on marriage, I was going to let you go. So that you could find a nice girl and have a family of your own someday. So I did. I kept my distance and did my best to stay away from you, no matter how badly I wanted you. I have always wanted you Peeta. It..."

I still have her arms in my hands and I just crash my lips to hers. I want to feel her. All of her.

Katniss fights me a bit and I let her arms go. She tried to pull away from our kiss, but I'm persistent and continue to kiss her everywhere I can reach. The only thought running through my mind is that I want her. Katniss is no longer putting up a fight. I'm certain her inner struggle is raging though. I am so bold now as to place my hand over her pussy and rub through her pants. Katniss moans. Once I hear that, I unbutton them, seeking her folds. I'm met by a wonderful surprise to discover she is wet. Very wet.

I stroke her with my finger and then yank her pants down. I unbutton mine and shimmy them down my legs. We both kneel to the ground and I quickly glide on top of her. I don't even give a shit how cold it is although we are kind of laying on our discarded pants.

I rub my cock over her wet folds and insert myself into her, not even playing with her first. She gasps when I enter her but she opens her legs wider to receive me. I never break our kiss and I wrap my hands around her, and rest my fingers cupping her shoulder. Katniss pulls at the back of my shirt and runs her hands up and down my back, dragging her nails. I start pumping into her, breaking her hymen, and then I can't stand it anymore. I pump into her, savoring her tight walls and the feel of her, until I feel her come on me and I quickly release myself inside her.

When it's over, we stare at each other and then a sick feeling washes over me. She let me go. She didn't want to be with me. She didn't want to marry or have children. She didn't want me. I wanted her. Oh my god, I did this _to_ her, not _with_ her. I don't know what I see in her eyes but I can't wait around for the hate to creep in. I just can't. I have to go. I have to stop all of this.

She let me go. I have to do the same for her. I have to. I just have to.

I get up, pull on my pants and button them and I start running for the fence. I hear Katniss calling me from behind. "PEETA, WAIT! PLEASE WAIT!" I ignore her and just run back to my house. I burst through the door and up to my bedroom. I grab my bag and toss some clothes inside it. I scribble a note and leave it on the dresser next to my bed. "I'm so sorry.I will always love you Katniss..." it reads. I head down the stairs and run to the train station. It begins to roll as soon as I get there but I yell to wait and the attendant helps me hop it. "Where to Mr. Mellark?" he asks. "The Capitol, thank you." I reply.

When I arrive in the Capitol two days later, I walk directly to the Training Center and come face to face with Effie. I end up boarding in my old room and a few days after wards, I am summoned to a meeting with President Snow.

"Young Peeta. Please have a seat." Snow beckons me to a rather lush looking desk chair upon my entry to his office. I sit and his snakelike eyes glare at me. He also takes a seat and folds his hand together while I take in the sight of his white hair and repulsive rose on his lapel. "I see Miss. Everdeen is not with you. Care to explain?"

"We broke up. We are not together anymore." I shrug like it's no big deal. Snow doesn't look amused.

"Well, this poses a problem Mr. Mellark. A problem indeed. You see, two victors NEVER win. You both did because you were in love and pulled Seneca's heart string right at the right moment. Normally, when a victor wins, they spend a great deal of time in the Capitol entertaining citizens that I set them up with. 'Dates' so to speak, do you get my drift?" I nod, he continues. "Now that you have broken up, this poses a problem. It needs to be explained and rectified. Are you willing to be the one that does it?"

I stare at him. He's asking me if I'm willing to be a Capitol whore. I sigh. "If I promise to do it, 'entertain' people, do you promise to leave Katniss out of everything? No Victory Tour, no visits, no entertaining and no harm to her our our loved ones. Just leave her alone in District 12 to move on with her life?"

Snow considers my proposal. "So, you're the one who was true and she was not. Ah, young love. Always so fickle. This may work for me. We will announce on the upcoming Victory Tour that Katniss Everdeen broke your heart and that you've embraced the life of a Victor. That you support the Capitol. There's been a bit of unrest over the berry incident but this should calm the citizens down. I'm willing if you are. No harm to her or your families. I can live with that. Do we have a deal?" He extends his hand to shake mine and I do, firmly and reply, "Yes."

_**Ten Years Later...**_

The letter is delivered by my avox, Daniel, and I see that it's from my father. I open it frantically and read it carefully.

"_Peeta, I'm sick, please come home..."_

My mother had died five years ago from an unusual flu strain and I did not attend the funeral. After everything that she had ever put me through, I just couldn't do it. I haven't been back to District 12 since I left. I haven't spoken to Katniss or Haymitch, and only occasionally do I speak to my father or brothers. We have all gone on with our lives. I have however become best friends with Finnick Odair, Victor of the 65th Hunger Games. He' s a Capitol whore like me but unlike me, he has his true love at home waiting for him after every visit, Annie Cresta. She won the 70th Hunger Games.

I pick up my phone and call Effie to pass a message onto Snow that I must return home to tend to my father. I will be back as soon as I can. Effie agrees that this is best and tells me that my train will leave the station in an hour. I throw some clothes in my bag and trek to the station. It's a two day ride to get home. Home. It feels so foreign to say the word about District 12. That's where I left my heart. That's where I left Katniss, because it's what she wanted.

I take in the scenery as we roll in and remark that some things don't change. I grab my bag and walk towards my house. I open the door and discover that the furniture has been covered with sheets but that everything is exactly where I left it. I walk up the stairs to my room and place my bag on the bed. I look around and then I remember the note that I left for Katniss. It's gone. At least she knew that I loved her.

I descend the stairs and smack into something broad chested, Haymitch. "Hi Haymitch." I say. He looks at me and rubs the sleep out of his eyes. Then he punches me in the face. It knocks me a few steps back but I deserve it for the way I left, my behavior beforehand and for not calling in ten years. He walks past me like I wasn't even there in the first place. I rub my jaw and watch him walk away.

I head into town and go straight to the Bakery. The bell dings to signal arrival and my father comes out of the back room. "Coming", he calls out. When he sees me, he embraces me in a tight hug that nearly picks me up off the ground. I hug him back heartily. After a few moments, he coughs and I pat his back trying to help him while he pushes me to the side. Once he's breathing normal again, I try to find out what's wrong with him. He stops me, as if in a hurry and says "Peeta, I have to tell you something." He's cut off by the door dinging and signaling a customer.

"Grandpa, I've got those strawberries you love so much! Come on Mom, you're so slow!" She calls over her shoulder. In walks a very beautiful young girl with dirty blonde hair in a single braid down her back and striking blue eyes. I swear I see flecks of gray in them. She stops dead in her tracks when she sees me and drops the strawberries. They scatter all over the floor.

"You're so impatient Evan, I told you to wait for me to skin the squirrels before we visit Grandpa." In walks Katniss, looking beautiful and radiant,with two squirrels dangling from her hands. When she sees me she drops them too.

I stand there, completely confused. Did this girl just call Katniss 'Mom'? The smile on my face fades as I realize that Katniss did in fact embrace the life that I had wanted with her.

"Peeta", she says.

"Katniss", I whisper.

"Daddy." My eyes flash to the young girl who just mouthed a word I never thought I would ever hear in reference to myself. Katniss looks panicked as I take it all in. My god she's about ten years old.

Her eyes.

They're mine.

Just breathe.

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	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you for all the love! Please review/alert the hell out of this story. I would really appreciate it. **

**Thanks to my new beta _fnur _for doing such an amazing job and working with me!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games. **

**Breathe Chapter 2**

**Peeta POV**

I can't breathe. Did I just hear all of this right?

Did this little girl call me 'Daddy'? She's got to be at least ten, I've been gone that long. Katniss. Katniss is her mother. Katniss told her that I'm her father. I've only been with Katniss one time, our first time. The whole reason that I even left. I felt like I forced myself on her and I was ashamed. I couldn't face her. Couldn't bear to see the look of disgust on her face when she realized that I had taken advantage of her. Katniss didn't want me. She didn't want to be with me. She never wanted to marry or have children. And the one time that I even touched her, took advantage of her, I impregnated her.

I ruined her life.

Katniss grabs her daughter's hand, _our _daughter's hand and tugs her out the door with her. I'm in a state of shock and my reflexes are dull as a result. I run both of my hands through my hair and pull on it when I hear my father sigh. "Peeta, go after them. Don't let them go again", he says. I know right then that I can speak to my father later and find out what the fuck is going on from his point of view, but right now, I just need some answers.

I dash out the door and break into a run. My prosthetic doesn't hinder me like it used too thanks too good old Capitol medicine. I can see two braids swinging briskly in their hastened urge to escape me. The girl keeps turning around to see if I'm following and when she sees me, I instinctively wave to her and push myself to speed up. The girl keeps tugging on her mother's sleeve and I can hear them exchanging words. Katniss turns around to address her daughter and that gives me the few precious seconds that I need to catch up to them.

"Katniss! Please wait!" I beg. She spins on her heel to continue her exodus and then puts her face into both hands, sighs and then finally turns to face me. "Peeta, I can't do this right now. I thought that I would be ready when the day came that you came home but I'm not. I can't do this." She says so softly, it begs to be a whisper.

That's when I lose it.

"You can't do this? Are you kidding me? I come back after ten years to a sick father and an out of wedlock daughter with the love of my life! You think you can't do this? How about finding out that you missed out on being a father for ten fucking years? All I ever wanted out of my life was to be with you and raise a family! I had the simplest of dreams and you were involved in every single one. How's that for a little truth? Huh?" I'm breathless and trying to maintain composure.

Katniss slaps me hard across my left cheek. "HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT TO ME PEETA MELLARK! You left me in the heat of the moment, hopped a train to the _Capitol_, the fucking Capitol of all places, and never turned back. No phone calls, no letters, no visits. You disappeared. You will never, ever, in your lifetime know the depths of hurt you left me in that night and in the time that followed. Right now it's like opening up an old wound, looking at your face again. Don't you ever tell me I did you wrong. You're the bastard that left me!"

I can't help but put my hands on her arms as she tries to flee again. I cannot allow it after so long. Just looking at her brings me back to being sixteen and I want to turn back the clock and tell my coward self to sit my ass down and face what I had done to Katniss that night. I could have had every single dream. Each and every one. Instead, in a moment of panic, I fled and made myself a concubine of Snow and the Capitol. My god, that bastard must have known my daughter existed, right? He would know if a Victor gave birth. Not that I expected him to but he never told me. My family never told me, Haymitch never told me, even Finnick never told me,if he had heard anything at all. And Katniss didn't go on the Victory Tour. My little deal with Snow secured that.

I look deep into her gray eyes and try to continue to calm my breathing, keep my erratic heart from beating out of this pathetic body.

"Wait. I'm trying to process this all at once Katniss. Are you telling me that back then, you were hurt that I left? I thought, all this time, that you would have been happy to be rid of me. Be rid of the star-crossed lovers ruse, to have your old life back. The one that I wasn't a part of. Are you telling me that I somehow got it wrong and made the biggest mistake of our lives?" I ask completely overwhelmed.

Katniss takes a deep breath, shakes my hands from her arms and takes my right hand into her left. She looks me dead in the eyes.

"Peeta, this is our daughter Evan. I gave birth to her in October, the year you left. I don't know what fucked up thoughts or reasons you really had or have about why you left District 12 or me for that matter, but I have been waiting ten years to say so much to you. I always promised myself that when I finally saw you again, I would get it all off of my chest. Well, imagine my surprise when you were standing in the bakery today. It took you ten years. Ten years of me rewording my speech and I can't remember any of it. So here's what I'm going to say to you now. This beautiful little girl that you're looking at here? She was born out of love. Not lust, or need, or desperation, love. You didn't do anything to me that night that I hadn't wished for you to do. And when you left? You broke me. You said 'Always' and I believed you. I was such a fool."

I feel like Katniss slapped me again. Love? Our daughter was born out of love? All these years I had it wrong? Not a damn person called me. Katniss never sent word to me. She assumed I would come home. To her. And I never came. I never would have had my father not let me know that he was sick. I feel like a black abyss is swallowing me whole, chewing on me and spitting out the bones.

Katniss grabs Evan's hand and pulls her away but my mind comes back to me and I can no longer help myself. I grab Evan's hand and pull her into a hug and she encircles her arms around my waist. That's when the damn breaks, for all three of us, and I sob like a baby while holding her. I feel like the biggest prick in the world. I pull the tie out of her braid and run my hands through her hair, not meaning to be so invasive, but I just want to see her in full. Her hair is dirty blonde and her eyes are blue. I cans see small flecks of gray here and there in them. She's got a few freckles on her face like me and dimples. She looks well fed. Is she gifted musically or artistically? Can she shoot a bow and arrow or are knives her thing? Does she like school? What are her grades like? What's her favorite color? I have a million questions chomping at the bit to get out. I want to get to know my daughter now, immediately, and I don't ever want to leave her side.

I start kissing her forehead and her cheeks and she's sobbing hysterically with me. Everyone must think we're crazy on the road to the Seam. The Seam? Why is Katniss heading to the Seam? She has a house in the Village. Did she raise Evan in the Seam? I have so much that I need to speak to Katniss about. I don't stop kissing Evan's forehead.

"I'm so so sorry honey. I didn't know. I didn't know. I didn't know a lot of things. I swear I never would have left. I swear it. I was so young and stupid. I hope we can get to know each other. I want to know everything about you. I want to be your father. I mean it. I've never meant anything more true in my life. I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to the both of you. I promise you. I will never, ever, leave again." I promise.

I pull Evan back from me and wipe her tears with my fingers and then wipe mine with the sleeve of my shirt. I turn to Katniss and I pull her into a hug. At first I think she's going to knee me in the crotch but she hugs me too. Our hug doesn't last as long as I would like. Just the smell of the woods on her skin, the honeysuckle in her hair, I'm brought back to a time when I was happy and felt alive. I have to make this right. I know what I want, it's what I've always wanted. Katniss. And now Evan too. I whisper into her ear, "Always Katniss. This time Always is Forever." We stand there for a few seconds in silence. I pull away first.

"I have to go back to the bakery. My father is waiting for me, I'm sure. After I speak to him, my plan is to get my things in the Capitol and come back here. For good this time. Is that okay with you?" She nods her head and gives me a smile. I wipe her tears with my fingers and then turn around to head back to the bakery.

My father has a lot of explaining to do.

By the time I reach the bakery, my mind is in overdrive. My father, my family knew about Evan and never told me. Why?

I push open the bakery door and it dings to announce my arrival. My father comes from the back in his beat-up old white apron, covered in the usual flour, vanilla and yeast and looks at me hard. "How did it go?" he asks. I look at him incredulously.

"Are you serious Dad? It was like a fucking train wreck! I am on emotional overload right now. Before I even lay into you over Evan, please tell me what's wrong with you. I came back to see you...I never expected all of this."

My father sighs and pulls up two stools for the two of us, pours some milk and places a couple of strawberry scones on a dish in front of us. That must be where he gets the strawberries from, Evan and Katniss. My father takes a seat and rubs his face with his hand. He wipes the sweat off of his face with a rag from his back pocket. Did I not win the Hunger Games? Why is there no air conditioning in this place yet?

"I suppose I owe you some kind of explanation about Katniss and Evan, Peeta. I don't even know where to start. Uh, well, I have cancer. It's Adenoid Cystic Carcinoma in the base of my tongue. There's not much that's known about it because it's rare and slow growing. I've had it three years now and I haven't told a soul until this week. I've already told your brothers and I need to tell Katniss and Evan. I felt it only right to tell you first. I've got another couple of years at best, give or take my general health and the growth of the tumor. There is no treatment and I've elected to not have a surgery in the Capitol because the tumor is located in the base of my tongue. It would also not stop the growth of other tumors. I've decided to live out my days as comfortably as possible with my family surrounding me. I wanted to tell you in person, so I wrote you a letter." Dad explains.

I take a deep breath and exhale. "Dad, are you sure? I mean, I'm sure there's some kind of treatment we may not know about. I'm gonna have to go back to the Capitol to make arrangements to move back here. You can come with me and see a specialist while I'm there. We can catch up on the train?" I suggest hopefully.

Dad clears his throat and places his left hand on my sagging right shoulder. "I've made peace with it, son. It is what it is. I just want my boys to be happy and for our family to be whole again. Peace is what I want. I want us all to have our dreams and bask in happiness. You know, Evan and Katniss have been amazing to me and your mother before she passed. Rye and Van married and moved out but those girls, they kept us young and going."

My mouth hits the floor and it's an uncontrollable action. I'm having a lot of those in the past couple of hours. "Mom had a relationship with Evan before she died?" I ask incredulously. Dad chuckles. "Son, Katniss and Evan practically lived here. You know your mother always wanted a daughter. Well, when Rye and Van got married, Mom was still a brute and they shunned her, and rightfully so. But when Katniss came with her mother to explain the situation, things got crazy. At first your mother was atrocious and called Katniss a Seam slut." I flinch at the term. Katniss was anything but. She was amazing and I loved her. I still do.

Dad continues. "Well, then Katniss got further along in her pregnancy and had a very tough birth with Evan. She had to be cut open and we very nearly lost them both during delivery. But Lily was amazing and knew what to do. And after laying eyes on Evan, we all fell in love with her of course, so we all made a pact to get over ourselves and our differences and raise this little girl right in a loving family. Even your brothers and their families spend tons of time with Evan. She's loved by all."

I smirk. "Get to the part about how you all decided to keep my daughter a secret from me." It's a loaded request but it needs to be demanded.

"Well, Katniss didn't want you to know. She figured that you hated her. Didn't care for her anymore. Were disgusted by her and the fact that you slept with her. She was humiliated and rejected. She had planned to tell you, but when Haymitch finally located you in the Capitol and discovered the life you had grown into, he felt it best that Katniss let you go. If you ever came back, she would deal with it then. But time drove on and you never returned. Even when your mother passed, no Peeta. So she just accepted that you would never know and made peace with it." He says.

I am at yet another loss for words. I dig into the scone in front of me so that my speechless mouth is busy. Of course, it's delicious and the action gives me a few moments to come to terms with the fact that my life is a huge colossal fuck up.

I rub my eye after taking a couple of bites. I don't know how I'm going to fix this mess. I have so much making up to do. Not only to Katniss and Evan, but to my family and friends as well. They don't know the whole back story and I don't want them to know. I shudder when I think of what Katniss may think of my character now. I mean, I wasn't winning any points as the asshole that abandoned her to endure an unplanned pregnancy. Or the douche bag that said he loved her and never contacted her again. No, now I'm the man whore that everyone in the Capitol has practically had a piece with. Whether she knows the full scope of that, I'm unaware.

At this point, it doesn't matter. I just need to see everyone as soon as possible here to make my intentions known and then get on the train back to the Capitol to gather my things. The few things that I want to salvage of that life. I also need to make another deal with the devil and pray that he lets me out of it. That I've given enough of service as the only Victor residing in the Capitol, to appease clients year round and not just during the Hunger Games or celebrations. I hope that that fact would sway President Snow in my favor.

I scratch my head and stand to give my father a long overdue hug. "I've really made a mess out of my life Dad, huh?"

Dad gives me a comforting squeeze and says, "Time is on your side kid. Start today and someday everything will be okay. You just have to be patient. Patience is a virtue and you could use some of that." He laughs, obviously trying to make a joke about my Capitol lifestyle. I shake my head at him. It feels like old times, falling right back into a sweet banter with my old man.

I swallow down what's left of my milk and clear my throat. "I'm going to head over to Haymitch's house and have a long overdue talk with him. Then I'm going to get myself onto the next train. Are you sure you don't want to come with me and see a doctor in the Capitol? Money is not an issue Dad." I offer and hope he takes it. "No son, I'm good. You go see Haymitch and do what you have to do. I'll be here when you get back." I give him another hug goodbye and wave to him as I walk out the door towards Victor's Village.

When I get there I spend a few moments standing at the edge of his sidewalk, contemplating what I'm going to say. The man just punched me in the face a few hours ago and I'm sure he still sleeps with a knife in his hand. I can't help but look at my old house and the Everdeen house, side by side, next to Haymitch's house. Mine obviously is deserted and lonely. Their house shows signs of love on the outside. I'm sure it's come to life inside with the addition of Evan. I wonder which room is hers. Knowing Katniss, Evan probably sleeps with her, so that she's protected at all times. I smile thinking that Katniss probably has a knife somewhere close to her bedside too now.

There's no point in procrastinating so I advance towards his door and knock. "You know what to do!", he shouts as a greeting. I open the door and to my surprise, he's sitting at the table playing a game of solitaire with a card set. He looks sober. I glance at my watch and see that it's two o'clock in the afternoon. That can't be right. Haymitch looks at me and takes in my appearance. "I knew you would end up here sooner or later. How did your reunion with sweetheart go? I'm sure she was tickled pink to see you." I shrug my shoulders and walk over to the table, spinning a chair around in the opposite direction before spreading my legs over it to sit.

"It could have gone better but I'm glad it happened. It was a shock to see her. To find out. I should have known. I shouldn't have left or at the very least, I should have come back. I've regretted it every single day since but the time got away from me and I was a coward." I say.

Haymitch nods in agreement. "Well, that's all past now. No point crying over it. What's your plan now that you've been enlightened? Coming or going boy?"

"Coming. Which is one of the reasons that I'm here. I don't know what you have or haven't heard but I need to talk to you. I know you don't owe me anything but I really need your help to get on the right path. It's complicated and sensitive." Haymitch raises his eyebrows and I know he's following my meaning. The Capitol has eyes and ears everywhere. Haymitch beckons me with his finger and leads me to the bathroom where he turns on all the water at full speed.

Once done he leans against the vanity counter and crosses his arms. "Tell me everything. From the moment you left."

I launch into how I felt after Katniss and I were together, how I left her the note and left on the train right after. How I had no place to go and I ended up at the President's Mansion. How the star-crossed lovers had broken up and what a Victor's duties to its Capitol really were, that I gave myself willingly and spared Katniss the same fate or from having to mentor or appear at functions. I wanted her out of sight and out of mind. I explain all the knowledge and secrets I've gained from my clients over the years, enough that I am a liability. Then I tell him about how Finnick has been hinting at a Rebellion being organized in decimated District 13. That my knowledge could help the Rebellion and abolish the Hunger Games. Protect future children from being reaped, children like Evan, absolve the Victor's from the lives they lived in the Capitol's clutches.

When I'm done spilling my guts in his bathroom, Haymitch rubs his chin and looks at me through his long blonde hair falling in his face. "Okay kid, I'm gonna say this once. I want in on this Rebellion. You get in touch with Finnick and somehow make it known that I want to contribute. As for you and your journey back into the snake pit, well I need to pack a bag for that. I'm going with you to talk to that viper. I am your Mentor after all." Haymitch extends his hand and I shake it fiercely. Then he pulls me into a hug. "I'm glad you're back kid. Those girls need you. No matter what the big one says." I laugh. It's the only light moment of my day so far.

We pull apart and I turn off the water in the tub. "I'm ready when you are. The train leaves in an hour."

**Katniss POV**

When Evan and I reach our house in the Seam, I close the door and lean on it, still feeling out of breath from my confrontation with Peeta. It has been a very unusual day so far and I just need a few minutes to calm down and gather my thoughts. My mother and Primrose use our old house as our Apothecary. We've remodeled it and it now has three bedrooms. Two for patients and one for us to stay in. She prepares all of her elixirs and ointments here and we sell them right out the door or Evan delivers them. It's also convenient because when Evan and I gather the plants, we can drop the evidence of our illegal hunting and gathering right here in the Seam and not flaunt it in town.

My mother looks at me and can tell that something is amiss. "Katniss, what's wrong?", she asks. Evan beats me to it. "Grandma, my father is here!", she

squeels excitedly. My mother's mouth falls in shock and she gives Evan a hug. "Sweetie, I'm so excited for you!" While she has my daughter in her embrace she mouths to me, _ .God_. I nod in agreement. She parts from Evan and rubs the side of her cheek. "Sweetie, why don't you go share your good news with Zander. I'm sure he would be thrilled to hear all about it." Evan agrees and is out the door to share her news.

"Jesus Katniss, are you okay?" Mom moves to take me into her arms but I start pacing the room and uncharacteristically chatter away.

"I was so shocked to see him Mom. You would have thought I was an Avox! I couldn't form a word so I just ran out of the bakery, but he followed me and somehow I found my voice. I didn't say all the things that I had been planning to for so long, but I said enough to get my point across. Of course, Evan was in awe and a bit star struck throughout the whole thing. The two of them went to pieces when they finally had a second to face each other. It was heart-breaking and wonderful and confusing. I still can't come down from the high of seeing him. I don't know what happens now, but he did come back." I explain.

Mom sighs and wrings her hands together. I can tell she's anxious for me. "So what's next? Why is he here?"

I shrug my shoulders. "Honestly, he didn't say what brought him back and I didn't ask. We were both so overwhelmed. But he did say that he's going to move back to District 12. He needs to go to the Capitol and gather his things but he'll be back in a few days for good. I don't know whether to be happy or not. I'm a mess."

"Well, I think you and Peeta have much to talk about. Evan will be in school during the week and you're both going to have plenty of time on your hands." She says.

I shake my head. "I don't know if I can spend that much time alone with him Mom. Seriously, I don't know if I can."

"Why Katniss? What's the problem?", she inquires. I stop dead in my tracks and stare at her. "Are you serious?", she asks.

I sit down and bury my head in my hands in shame. "I can't help it. He just does that to me. It doesn't help that the years have been good to him either. He's beautiful...even more than I remembered. I thought I was going to catch fire when our hands touched. It's been so long for me Mom. I've only ever been with Peeta. Been in love with Peeta. I'm mad as hell at him. I haven't forgiven him. But what happens if and when I do, huh? I've been hung up on him so long I don't know how to behave around him. I'm not a teenager anymore. I'm a single mother. But I'm a young, lonely single mother who has pined away for my daughter's father the entire time. It would be so much easier to just hate him, but I can't. I gave that up a long time ago."

My mother smiles and sits down beside me. "You know Katniss, things have a funny way of working out. The road is not going to be easy but if you both try really hard, I know that you can be friends again and make peace with the past. Personally, I think Peeta got the shorter end of the stick. He missed out on so much. Both because he left and you didn't tell him. I think you're both evened up now and need to just start fresh." I smile as she pats my knee and gets up to tend the pot on the stove.

Just then the door opens and Prim walks in with her son, Jasper, on her hip. "Is it true?", she asks. She rushes over to me and sets Jasper down on the floor. "Is Peeta really back?" I nod and she clamps her hand over her mouth.

"Holy shit!" she says and we can hear our mother shout "Primrose, language!" from the kitchen. We both laugh and then Prim pulls me to her.

Prim whispers into my ear, out of our mother's earshot. "I bet he near shit himself when he saw you, huh?", she asks. I laugh and whisper. "Yup."

"I overheard one of the town women say he has muscles in all the right places. She went so far as to say he was 'smoking hot' and began to fan herself. Then her friend said 'he can put his shoes under my bed any day'. I take it he's looking pretty good?" I answer again. "You got it." I blush.

"Wow. So I heard you had it out on the way to the Seam. True?", she asks.

"You bet we did. Right in the road." I reply.

"So where is Peeta now?" Prim picks up Jasper to sit in her lap.

I allow a small smile. "He's on his way back to the Capitol to get his things. He says he's coming back for good."

Prim smirks and then beams a bright smile. "I guess you're gonna be spending more nights at the house than here in the Seam huh?"

"Yup."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thank you so everyone for your wonderful reviews and alerts. I try to respond individually but sometimes I am just overwhelmed. Please know that I really appreciate them ALL. Hope you're enjoying the story. Please check out my other one "SPIN" as well. Make sure you review!**

**A huge thank you to my beta fnur!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games. **

**Chapter 3**

**Peeta POV**

When the train pulls into the station, Haymitch and I waste no time in collecting our baggage and stepping onto the platform. I've already made a mental list of what I need to do here in the Capitol and I intend to complete the tasks in order.

Talk to President Snow.

Collect a few things from my apartment.

Get back on the train and leave this life behind.

I've been mulling over everything that I need to say to Snow to get myself out of this mess but none of it sounds overly convincing in my head. All I have to go on, and praying for, is that my years of service to him will buy me a way out. That he has ten more Victors to sell or bargain with since I won. I hate to throw anyone on the chopping block but if I need to sacrifice one of them to get myself back to District 12 on a permanent basis, then that's what I must do.

Haymitch and I get into a tram car that whizzes us to the Presidential Mansion upon my instruction. We climb the stairs to the reception area and the secretary, Miss Jackson, nods her head and buzzes upstairs to announce that I am requesting a visit with our President. After a ten minute wait, Haymitch and I are escorted to Snow's office and we wait another few minutes before he joins us.

When Snow enters the room, all the oxygen is sucked out when he sees Haymitch with me. This cannot mean anything good for him seeing as Haymitch despises the man. We all shake hands and then Snow clears his throat. "Peeta, friend, what a pleasure to see you. What brings you here today?" He sounds almost friendly, like I'm not walking right into a trap. Like he honestly cares about me and my well-being. This is a conversation that I am dreading. There's only two ways this can go. I decide that honesty is the best policy since he knows everything anyway and I would rather not give him the upper hand by allowing any sort of deception on my part.

I clear my throat. Moment of truth has arrived.

"Well, Mr. President, I received a letter from my father that he was ill and he requested that I return home to District 12 to see him. I just arrived back from that visit. Unfortunately, he is not doing well and wants to spend the remainder of his life with his sons. Since I've been away for ten years, he's asked me to move back to District 12 and I have accepted." I explain.

Snow nods and drums his long grotesque index finger on his mahogany desk. "I see, Peeta. So, what you're saying is, you won't be readily accessible to cater to your clients? What about when the Hunger Games are going on?" He asks and gazes at me in an innocent manner.

I run my hand through my hair, my worst nervous habit. "I would prefer not to, Mr. President. I know that I will be expected to return and mentor but I am hoping to turn a new leaf in District 12. I feel like it's time to move on with my life. Settle down, raise a family."

Snow smiles at me. "Family, huh? And how is Miss Everdeen, Peeta? I trust you saw her and her beautiful daughter while you were in District 12?" My blood boils. "Yes, I did bump into Katniss and _our_ daughter while visiting. Shame that I never knew about her until then." I reply in an accusatory tone.

Snow snickers. "If you're asking me if I knew about your daughter, then yes, I did. I make it my business to know everything about my Victors. You can't even shit without me knowing about it. Now you sit before me, asking me to release you from your carnal obligations to your country. What's in it for me Peeta? What can you give me that would satisfy and explain why you are no longer of service?"

My mind draws a blank and then an image of Katniss appears under my eyelids. My eyes flash open and meet his cunning stare.

"Yes Peeta. I want Katniss. Panem wants Katniss. Panem will want Evan as well. You leave this role, and then you will be returning to your prior role, as one half of the star-crossed lovers of District 12. The citizens will eat it up! Lost love rekindled! And with a beautiful daughter no less. A beautiful daughter on the cusp of reaping age. Am I making myself clear Peeta?"

Haymitch speaks up and I had nearly forgotten he was in the room, absorbing all of this in.

"That's a pretty shitty thing to do to the boy after all this time, Snow. He was naive ten years ago. Let things spiral out of control. He's trying to make it right now. There's a lot of baggage between Peeta and Katniss and you can't possibly think that it could be smoothed over too quickly. The games are in a month! _They haven't seen or spoken to each other in ten years._ She'll never go for it." He says.

I shrug my shoulders. I knew he wouldn't let me out without a catch.

"Haymitch, everyone loves a happy ending here. Peeta and Katniss reconnect, they mentor, they debut their beautiful daughter at the games...they can be with each other and finally get the happy ending they so richly deserve. The Capitol tapes everything, does a special once in a while, it'll be wonderful. Everyone will win." Snow grins and gets up from his seat and fingers a few books in his bookcase.

I look up at him and rise as well. "What's the catch? If Katniss doesn't give me another chance, what happens?"

Snow nods. "You're smart Peeta, I'll give you that. If Katniss won't reconcile with you, it's her turn. I'll expect her to come to the Capitol and take your place."

"NO!" I shout and pound my fist on his desk. The snake smiles at me.

"It's her or Evan, Peeta. I'd be more than happy to ensure that Evan is reaped and fulfills Katniss's duties here. Say the word and it's done." He offers.

I feel like I'm going to vomit. There is nothing left to discuss. I nod and Snow extends his hand to shake mine. I look at Haymitch and he shakes his head. As we head for the office door, Snow speaks up again. "This time it better be real on her part, Peeta. I mean it. All or nothing."

I fucking hate this man.

OoO

The train ride back is brutal. All I wanted from my apartment were some clothes and art supplies. I didn't need or want any other reminders of my time there. Haymitch and I spend the entire trip trying to devise a plan. I begin to doubt my decision to leave the Capitol. Haymitch thinks I'm crazy.

"Peeta, could you honestly return to the Capitol and continue on, after having met Evan? And what about Katniss? Did you feel nothing seeing her again, after so long?" He asks. I shake my head.

"Seeing Katniss alive and safe...it was wonderful. I felt like I finally did something right. That I somehow protected her. I don't know what would have happened between us, but if she had to sleep with half the Capitol, I would kill us both to spare us. I could never take it. Evan was unexpected but nonetheless, a pleasant surprise. I've always wanted to be a father. And not just a father, but a father to children with Katniss. Katniss is all I've ever wanted. "

Haymitch rubs his face. "Well, you have exactly a month to somehow set this all right. You can't tell her anything. You know sweetheart can't lie or act for shit. You're gonna have to tell her how you feel, try to spend time with her. Be normal for a change."

"She's not gonna want me, Haymitch. I have been had. Katniss values purity, family, honesty. I've been living a corrupt life for ten years. I can't wash that all away. She'll never believe that my feelings are real, trust me. At least not in that short a time period. This is impossible! I should have left them alone and not come back. It would have been easier for them to hate me, possibly more than they already do.'

"I've spent the last ten years with Katniss, Peeta. One thing I can promise you, she doesn't hate you."

I put my head back on the seat and close my eyes. It's so hard to envision her caring about me. It's all I want in the world but it just feels so out of reach.

OoO

When the train pulls into the District 12 station, I have a small plan formulating in my head. I'm going to head to my old house and clean it up. Get some food in there, invite Evan over to bake with me so I can spend some time with her and then I'm going to ask Katniss to have dinner with me so that we can finally talk and hash everything out. There's a lot to say and a short time to confess all.

When I get to my house, I discover that it's already been prepped for my arrival. I don't know whose done this yet but I'm hoping it's Katniss. I'd like to think that she's excited to see me. Happy that I'm moving back. I put away my clothes and painting supplies in my former studio and head over to the Everdeen house to say hello and extend my invitations.

My arm feels like dead weight as I lift it to knock on the door. I'm petrified that she's going to turn me down. I know I have to face the music sooner or later and I finally knock. Evan answers the door. The smile she gives makes my heart melt. "Hey Evan. Um, is your Mother home? I wanted to ask her if you could come over to my house and bake with me. I was hoping to spend some time with you today." I put my hands into the front of my jean pockets and rock back and forth. Nervous habit never did die. Evan smiles and calls out behind her shoulder, "Going to my Dad's! Please tell Mom when she gets home!" She closes the door behind her, without waiting for a response.

"Are you sure that's okay, Evan? You didn't give them a chance to give you permission." I advise. She shrugs and rolls her eyes, "They'll be fine. They would never say no now that you're back. Besides, I'm right next door and Grandpa is probably watching out his window anyway." She admits.

"Grandpa? You mean Haymitch? Wow. He didn't say anything on the train about you calling him Grandpa. I like it. It's cool. Someone had to step up." I exhale. We walk together to the house and into my kitchen. "Do you know how to bake anything?" I ask her.

Evan smiles. "You've forgotten who my other Grandfather is. I spend a lot of time at the bakery. Uncle Rye and Uncle Van do too. They said when I'm twelve that they'll teach me to ice the cakes and decorate them." I put up my hands.

"Oh no! That's not gonna happen! I'm going to teach you how to do that. That was my job when I was there and I was the best at it. In fact, now that I'm home, I'll be spending more time down at the bakery helping Grandpa out. Maybe I'll even start teaching you now. You'll be a pro by the time you're twelve. How does that sound?" Evan smiles and nods her head.

We spend the next two hours making a very special loaf of bread. Katniss hasn't come back from hunting ye,t so she doesn't even know about my plans for dinner. Evan and I work in silence for a bit.

"Do you mind if I call you Daddy? I really don't know what else to call you and I don't feel comfortable calling you Peeta." I look over at her and I pull her tiny hand into mine and kiss it. "I would love it if you called me Daddy. That's all I want to be for you Evan. Your father. I'm gonna make this right for all of us. I intend to make us a family." We both smile.

"Speaking of family, your Mother and I need to have a very long conversation. We have a lot to talk about. Would you mind if I invited her to dinner tonight by herself? I was hoping to not put it off any longer. It's long overdue." Evan smiles again. "No, that's fine. I had plans with Zander tonight anyway. He owes me a game of black or red."

"Zander? Who's Zander?"

"Oh, Zander Hawthorne. He's my best friend. He's practically family." She states. I raise an eyebrow. "And who are his parents?" I inquire. "You should know them. Gale Hawthorne and Madge Undersee. Zander is a little bit older than me." I smile when she says this, knowing that they were screwing around at a young age too. Funny how things happen. I nod to Evan. "Well, I want to meet Zander as soon as possible. May as well make friends with him too seeing as he's so important to you."

Evan and I complete the bread and I'm about to walk her home when Katniss walks into the house. "Hey. I was about to walk her home. You could have knocked, you know." I say.

Katniss walks over to us and reaches for Evan's hand. "I don't knock where my daughter is concerned. I got nervous when Mom said she was over here."

"Nervous? Why? We were just baking and getting to know one another a little bit." I explain and run my now clean hands through my blonde hair.

Katniss shrugs her shoulders. "This is just new for me, Peeta. Try to understand. I hardly let her out of my sight. I didn't know that you got back today. It's been a long time since I've had to integrate you into my daily routine. I just need to get used to it."

I nod and fold my arms across my chest. "Me too. Speaking of which. I'd like to invite you to dinner tonight, here. We have a lot of catching up to do. Is that okay?" Katniss glances at Evan for a reaction. "I already said 'yes' for you." Evan says. Katniss rolls her eyes and looks over at me. "What time?" Katniss asks.

I smile. "Whenever you're ready."

**A/N: I know it's a cliffhanger! If I get a large amount of reviews, I will post another chapter tomorrow. Got it all in my head and nothing to do tomorrow. Might even post a chapter of SPIN if you show me some crazy love. **

**Fic I'm reading now with my beta: His Deadly Game by Obsessivemuse. **

**We both need therapy now. **

**Check it out!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thank you for all the love. I never get tired of it! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games. **

**A special thank you to my beta fnur!**

**Chapter 4**

**Peeta POV**

As soon as the girls leave, I check the loaf in the oven, glance at the clock and realize that I only have an hour and a half at most until Katniss returns for dinner. Today has been such a long day and yet I have a renewed sense of excitement in anticipation of spending some time alone with her. I have so many questions. I know that she has hers too. I wish tonight would somehow be all fun and no pain, but I know that's not going to happen.

I felt alive seeing her again. My stomach got butterflies and the hair stood up on my neck and arms. Just being in the same room with her heightens my senses. I start launching into a mental rendition of _'you are such a loser for leaving her' _and try to focus on the positive. I'm here now and in a short time, we will be sitting across from her eating dinner.

Dinner. I don't know how long it's been since I've really cooked a meal. It wasn't something that I did often in the Capitol and I hardly ever baked as well. I was always out at some function or on some sort of client date. Other than the staples, I never had much food in my house. House, not home. This is home. I walk around and take stock of what furniture I have and what's hanging on the walls. The time has come to make this place homey and not keep the simple design the Capitol gave to these homes. I'm not surprised that Katniss kept the Everdeen home the way it was. She doesn't have an eye for things like this. But I do. I'm an artist and I've seen many homes while in the Capitol.

Beginning tomorrow, that's going to be my new project. I'm going to paint this place and decorate it to make it feel more welcoming. I smile to myself knowing that I hope to make it so welcoming that Katniss and Evan won't want to leave it. That's easier said than done but I have to start somewhere. I head back into the kitchen and check the loaf once again. It's time for it to come out before it burns, so I use a rag to pull it out. Not as agile as I once was, I burn my thumb and curse. "Fuck!"

"That's a dirty word, Peeta." I hear Katniss say from the door.

I spin around and am shocked to see her. She's already showered and changed her clothes. Her damp hair is pulled into a braid and a notice a few drops of moisture soak her orange t-shirt. Orange. I have a flashback to a beautiful orange dress she wore during our Games interview. She looks just as beautiful in jeans and a t-shirt standing before me. I notice slippers on her feet and smile.

"What's with the slippers? I ask. Katniss smiles. "These floors get dirty quickly. We wear socks or slippers in my house. Shoes off at the door."

"Thanks for the tip. You hungry? I didn't even start yet. I got sidetracked."

Katniss raises an eyebrow. "Yes, I'm famished. What are we having?"

"Truth is, I have no idea. Pasta? I have no meat. Just got here and I haven't contracted you to supply me with fresh game yet. You interested in trading with me?" I ask.

Katniss shrugs. "Why? You got something I might want? I already trade with your father for bread." Is she mad? Does she even know that she's flirting with me? I feel my cock twitch in my jeans. Not this soon, damn it. She always has this effect on me.

I have no idea how to respond. Several thoughts race through my mind and I have no idea which card to play. I'm in love with her. I'm attracted to her. I want to be a family. I have no time to make it happen. I have no idea how she feels about me. Bold moves are required.

I close the distance between us until our lips are only a couple of inches apart. I'm definitely invading her personal space. My body heightens at the proximity between us and I can no longer control my manhood, which is itching for her warmth.

My eyes travel up her face and latch onto hers. It's evident there's lust in mine and I see it growing in hers too. I lower my voice and try to keep composed. "Game for dessert?" I ask and I can't help but run my tongue over my lips. Katniss intakes a breath. She's all wrapped up in this exchange too. "Sure" she replies. I don't move. I don't drag myself away from her like I should. I just stand there literally panting like a dog for her.

Katniss breaks our trance. "I supposed I should get dinner on the back porch then." She abruptly moves and walks to the door to fetch whatever she stashed there. I look down at my erection and pray for death. How embarrassing. I need to get myself into the shower and take care of it. It's not going to go away on its own. I position myself behind the table quickly to try to mask it. Katniss returns with a squirrel and some greens. She looks confused as to why I am so awkwardly positioned but she says nothing.

I smile at her. "Squirrel, my favorite. It's been ten years since I've had it. Um, I didn't expect you so soon and I really need to shower. Would you mind if I did that real quick and then we'll make dinner?"

She nods. "Sure. I can wait." I can tell she's lying but I can't hold this boner back anymore. I excuse myself and dash up the stairs, hoping her eyes were on my face and not my crotch.

When I get into the shower, I immediately grasp my cock. I begin stroking it back and forth, thoughts of Katniss flooding my closed eyelids. She's a woman now. She's not starving anymore. She has appropriate weight on her and it graces her curves. I imagine my hand on her hips, pulling her towards me so that our middles meet. I imagine my hand cupping her full breasts and tugging on her erect nipples. I imagine my tongue, darting into her mouth to wrestle with hers. I imagine connecting with her in a way that a man should connect with the woman he loves. Not the way it was our first time. Unexpected and rushed and at the time it felt, forced.

I want it to be real. I let myself go there and imagine that Katniss wants me. That she's missed me. Wished that things worked out differently. I imagine my baby inside of her, Evan, another, it doesn't matter. All the things that I missed and never knew about. The things that I want to experience with her. I jerk myself harder, wanting so badly to make it all real and get there. I want to hear my name on her lips, moaning and climbing to her peak with me. Only with me. After a few more thrusts, I grunt very loudly and spill myself all over my hand and the shower wall. I rest my head against the stall and try to calm down. The water rinses away the evidence of what I've done.

I turn the water off, rub my eyes clear of moisture and then dry off with a towel. I dress quickly and nearly skip down the stairs. I look around and find the already skinned squirrel on the counter. The greens are also out. The bread, tucked away to cool. Katniss is gone. I don't know what to think. Maybe she chickened out and isn't ready to confront our past tonight. Maybe she just felt uncomfortable with me. Maybe I'm drumming up scenarios because I'm nervous myself?

Either way, I have to eat and the allure of fresh squirrel is too good. I cut up the meat and toss it into a frying pan with some oil and spices to brown up. I dress the salad and chill it for a few minutes, I set out the little bit of butter that I have and slice the bread evenly. I set out dinner plates and two glasses of iced tea, hoping that she comes back.

I pace for a couple of minutes and keep looking out the windows. Just then Katniss walks in the back door, pink in the face , takes her shoes off, slips into her slippers and walks over to the table. I hold out her chair for her and push her in, dumbstruck as to where she went. I sit down across from her and I take in her appearance. She looks fairly composed. Hair and clothes look intact but there's just something about the color in her cheeks...

"I feel better now." She says. It's only four little words but they carry tremendous weight. My head flies up ad I look straight into her gray eyes. Katniss doesn't look away and then it makes perfect sense to me. She heard me getting off and then had to go take care of herself. I didn't ever consider that she would be the type to do that. Jealousy creeps into my thoughts. I want to be the one to do that for her. I don't want her to ever have to do that for herself. I sigh. I have no idea how to proceed.

I may as well get the elephant out of the room. "Wow, Katniss. Um, that was really, um..._hot_." Katniss blushes a deeper shade of red. "No hotter than what you did upstairs Peeta." My fork falls out of my hand.

"You heard me?" I blush. "Peeta, I think the whole Village heard you at the end." Oh shit.

I shake my head and try to hide behind my hands. Childish but I'm stumped. "I'm sorry Katniss. I'm just going to come right out and say it. You can hate me for it but I'm not going anywhere this time." I take a deep breath, get out of my chair, and kneel before her. I take her hands into mine.

"All those years ago, I thought that I forced you. That I hurt you. I felt ashamed. I panicked and once I was in the Capitol, I was sucked in. I made a deal with Snow. It was the worst thing that I had ever done. I regret that single day more than you will ever know. All of my life, I've only wanted you. It's always been you. Time hasn't changed anything. My want and love for you has only intensified." I breathe in again.

"Coming back here, seeing you, meeting Evan, put my world upside down. I thought that you hated me. Didn't want me in your life. I expected to find you married, with a few kids by now. I didn't expect to have so many feelings overwhelm me all at once. I'm done playing games Katniss. There's so much I have to tell you. I want you to know it all. But first, I need you to understand that I love you. I have never stopped loving you. Not for twenty-one years. Not an hour went by that I didn't think about you. I want you...in every single possible way." I kiss her hands again.

Katniss stares into my eyes and then whispers. "Kiss me."

A/N: I know! Another cliffhanger. Sorry, gotta do it to you. What will happen next? Should I throw in a LEMON? REVIEW and tell me or I can take it slow and torture us all!


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thank you for all the reviews! Because you're all reviewing like animals, it's making me want to write. FYI: I'm not working this Summer so I have time. Keep up the reviews and it'll keep me motivated in this Summer heat! Almost all of you voted for a lemon so here it is!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games.**

**Follow me on my tumblr: jlhumph dot tumblr dot com and twitter jlhumph**

_**Thanks to my AMAZING beta fnur! **_

**fnurfnur dot tumblr dot com and fnurfnur for twitter**

**Chapter 5**

**Peeta POV**

Holy shit.

Did Katniss just ask me to kiss her? I waste no time and press my lips to hers. I close my eyes and I instinctively place my left hand on her right cheek. She leans into me, never removing her lips from mine. My lips keeps touching hers, brushing against them, not pushing too hard. I know she asked me to kiss her, but what if it was impulsive on her part? What if she was just caught in the words that came out of my mouth? They're words that I mean but nonetheless, I can't read her mind.

My right hand snakes behind her back and pulls her to me. I'm still kneeling on the floor and the motion has brought her down to my level. The chair has scooted behind her with a strange scraping sound sliding across the floor. I straighten my legs out and Katniss is sitting in my lap, straddling me. Her hands weave their way around my back and I feel her fingers interlace each other while combing through my blonde curls. Note to self, don't trim the hair too short, I _love_ this.

As if I wasn't already hard before my lips touched hers, now I'm a goner. I don't want to stop. I get brave enough and breach her mouth with my tongue. I feel the electricity between us spark when she allows me access and thrusts her tongue into my mouth as well. I whimper in delight. Katniss moans under the pressure that I'm placing on her mouth. Our teeth scrape a bit as we start to get frantic in our movements.

Her hands wander over my shoulders and she rubs my arms. I slide my hands under the back of her shirt and rub small circles in the arch of her back. I feel the goosebumps on her skin mixing with the beginning of sweat. She smells delicious. Like forest and lavender. So natural. Katniss has never needed make-up and jewels to make her shine. She's a beauty from the moment she wakes, until the moment her head hits the pillow.

Pillow. Not a bad place to see her head fall right now.

I slide my hand further up the back of her shirt and reach her bra clasp. Without thinking, I undo it. Katniss gasps but doesn't break our kiss. I trail my fingers up and down her back and then get brave enough to slide them near the front of her bra. They skim the bottom of her breasts and she moans into our kiss.

Katniss tugs at the hem of my shirt and pulls it up along my backside but doesn't break our kiss. She just holds it there. I chuckle into our kiss and then break it to yank it off. My eyes don't open until then but when my eyes meet hers, I'm overwhelmed by what I see. Love, lust, need. All the emotions that come with the package. The two of us have always been destined for each other and I'm over the moon that we've been given this second chance.

I'm not going to blow it this time. This time I'm going to channel every feeling I have ever had into this moment and make love to Katniss. The way we both deserved the first time. All of those other people in the Capitol, those clients, they just used me. I was so stupid. I'll never stop beating myself up for what I've done but I can work on making everything up to her, beginning right now.

This is our first time. The way it's supposed to be. The way I intend it to be from this day forward.

I find my legs and pick us both up off of the floor. Katniss doesn't hesitate and wraps her legs around my waist. My hips instinctively thrust into her center. Wanting to be closer to her. I hold her bottom and caress her buttocks. She's perfect. Soft and warm and I feel, made just for me. I stumble my way to the stairs and bring us up to my bedroom. I open the door and walk forward until my knees hit the bed and we both tumble down with a laugh. I pull us back up into a sitting position.

I pull her shirt off of her and then our eyes meet again as her loose bra dangles down. I barely saw her the first time around; we were so hasty and horny. Plus it was ten years ago. I hadn't forgotten what she looked like, but the memory had dulled. I pull the elastic out of her braid and separate her soft brown locks until her hair looks like a wave, cascading down her back. I smooth it down her backside until it hangs close to her butt and then gently pull on the tips at the end. Katniss intakes a breath and keeps her gray eyes trained on me. My voice is husky when I speak. "I'm not letting you go again Katniss. Ever."

She crashes her lips to mine and I remove her bra fully from her frame. When my hands find the buds on her breasts, she shivers and I twitch some more in my pants. I want out of them. It wouldn't shock me if they ripped, I'm so hot for her. I lay us backwards, onto the bed. My lips have a mind of their own and they begin conquering her body. I lay kisses from her cheek to behind her ear, down to her neck, nipping and licking as I go. I move further south to her collarbone and her breastbone until I reach her left breast. My left hand rubs and pulls on the nipple of her right breast while I engulf her other breast with my mouth.

Katniss writhes beneath me until I move my left hand down to the crotch of her jeans. I apply some pressure through the denim and rub the area, eliciting soft moans from her. She thrusts her hips into mine and I gasp, trying to control myself. I unbutton her jeans and begin to wiggle her out of them. Her hands leave their post at my back and find their way to the front of my jeans, unbuttoning the clasp. Once mine are loose enough, she slips her hands into the back of my pants and into my boxers and grabs my ass. I thrust against her at the movement and rejoin my lips to hers. I maneuver my hands into the back of her jeans and do the same to her ass, pulling her into me.

The friction between us is unbelievable. I don't know how much more I can take.

I pull her pants further down until they're off of her and damn near rip her panties off while doing it. Then I wrestle mine off of me until all that's left between us are my boxers. Katniss obviously has had enough too because she yanks my boxers off with her foot using her toes until I finish the job with my free hand. There is nothing barring us from being together now. I somehow come to the realization that I could get her pregnant again. "Katniss, I need to get protection." I say as I'm kissing her neck.

She runs her nails down my back until I shiver. "It's okay Peeta. I've been on birth control since Evan."

It's all I need to hear. I spread her legs a little wider with my knee and position myself at her core. I take my cock into my hand and rub my tip outside of her entrance. We both gasp at the same time. I push my tip into her and Katniss moans. I push further in, and then remove myself each time, allowing her to adjust to the feel of me. She's so tight. I know without asking that she hasn't been with anyone else but me in all these years. It's a conversation that I know we'll have eventually, when she finds out what I've been up to, but I can't fault her even if she had. I can only pray that she doesn't judge me.

I push all the way into her and it feels amazing. I slide in and out of her, her desire coating us both. All for me. She's this wet just for me. It's a calming thought until the next one comes to mind. I want to make her come. Over and over again.

I begin to thrust into her, and pull up her right leg at the knee so I can go deeper into her. Our hands are like machines, clawing and rubbing each other all over. We find a groove and work together, Katniss pushing her hips into me as well. When she nips at my ear and puts her tongue in it, scraping her teeth under the ear and around my neck, I see stars. I pump into her harder until I feel her walls begin to close in around me. I could lose myself now but I try to control it. This is about Katniss for me.

When she comes, the damn burst and Katniss lets out a scream of pleasure. My cock is twitching at the feeling and once I'm in her spot, I don't ever want to leave it. I thrust further, at her heightened sensitivity and she comes again, clawing her nails into my back. I can't hold it anymore and I thrust once and fall into oblivion with her. I pump into her slowly, emptying every damn seed I have into her sweetness and I feel so full and at peace.

Katniss opens her eyes and traces her thumb across my lips. "I love you Peeta." She whispers.

I swear, I think I'm hearing things. I can't help it when a tear escapes my eye. "My god Katniss, I love you. I've always loved you. I never stopped. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I fucked up. Please stay with me? Don't ever leave me. I'll die if you leave me."

She smiles at me, beautiful color of pink in her cheeks.

"Always, Peeta. From now on, I'll always be with you."

I sigh in relief. I don't pull out of her. I carefully move onto my side and keep us together as we succumb to sleep.

**A/N: So there it is, a massive lemon! Wait until the next chapter! That's even better!**

**REVIEW and you'll get it by tonight or tomorrow. I'm going to a wine festival and I will be thoroughly drunk, but when I sober up, I will post for you!**

**Later...drunk is an under statment. One would think I was 21 again. Just sharing...**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thank for the ton of reviews! You're all the best. I would have written last night but OMG I was out there. Word to the wise, stay away from wine festivals. It's too much booze in one spot! Ready for more? I've been super inspired so keep reading and REVIEWING to get it!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games.**

_**Thanks to my awesome beta fnur!**_

**Chapter 6**

**Peeta POV**

When I wake up, I notice a few things simultaneously.

One, it's dark and the moonlight is creeping in my windows and falls gracefully on her face. Two, we are in the same position as when we fell asleep. One would think we would have disconnected by now but evidently not. Three, I am immediately turned on at the closeness between us and that she's with me, here, in my arms. I don't ever want to move from this bed.

I can't deny that I also have to urinate, so I carefully remove myself from our tangled limbs and make my way to the bathroom to relieve myself. After I wash my hands, I walk back to the bed and slide in beside Katniss again, pulling her tight to me. She has since rolled over to the other side and her back is facing me. I gracefully slide the sheet down to view her exposed backside. She is breathtaking.

My hands have a mind of their own and I'm already half hard again just letting my thoughts wander. I move the hair at the base of her neck and begin to kiss her there. Tasting the salt of her skin on my tongue. I trail kisses down over her shoulder blade and continue down her back until I reach her buttocks. I don't stop there and maneuver my way further down her leg, trailing kisses straight to her toes. I gently massage her feet and then rub up to her thighs.

Katniss is beginning to stir. She flips onto her back, probably unaware that her body is reacting to me in her slumber. I pull the sheet down fully off her body and just watch her as I massage her thighs, inching my fingers closer to her center. When I finally rub her little nub, she moans in her sleep and I am fully erect. I move my fingers over her slit and feel wetness already. I know I'm working her up, unbeknownst to her, but I wonder what she's dreaming about. She obviously isn't aware that this is real right now and she's continuing to moan. Then I hear it. At first I think I'm mistaken, but she repeats herself in a whisper. "Peeta..."

Time to wake her up.

I place my face just outside of her opening and even though I can smell our sex on her, she still smells amazing. My tongue darts out of my mouth, eager to taste her and I give her a lick. Her body shivers at the contact and I chuckle to myself. It shouldn't be much longer before she's conscious. I lick her again, savoring her juices. She begins to stir some more and brings her knees up reflexively.

I rub her clit with my thumb and then insert my index finger inside her. Katniss gasps at the invasion and then purrs in welcoming. "What are you doing?" she asks.

"Making love to you." I respond in between rubbing and licking her. "Do you want me to stop?"

She runs her hands through my hair and I gently nip at her clit. "Are you out of your mind?" She asks.

"Only when I'm without you Katniss." She relaxes her legs and tugs on my hair while I thoroughly work her with my tongue and fingers. When I feel her contracting, I'm tempted to withdraw and tease her but I already owe her thousands of these. I can't refuse her anything. Katniss reaches her orgasm and I continue to rub her clit, knowing how sensitive the feeling would be for her. When she comes down from her high, her gray eyes find mine.

I scoot my way up her body until I am on top of her and my lips hover over hers. We just stare at each other. Katniss wraps her legs around my waist and pushes my backwards onto my back. She straddles me but lifts herself off of my erection. Damn, it had felt so good. Our lips are still less than an inch apart, hot breath on each other's faces. I don't know what to expect. I think I had that thought too soon because then Katniss licks my lips with her tongue.

That was fucking hot. Unexpected and sexy. She runs her tongue over my bottom lip and I try to catch her lips with mine. Katniss licks my lips again and I know I've pre ejaculated a bit. This slow games is a turn on. Katniss positions herself closer to my erection and then blows my mind. She rubs her hand all over the outside of her pussy and then transfers her juices to my cock. My breathe hitches and all I want is to be inside of her. If I was sixteen again, I would have blown my load just at the sight of her doing that.

Katniss descends and rubs my cock with her pussy. I am losing it. She is so hot and wet for me.

"Please?" I beg.

"Please what, Peeta?" She giggles. The sound of her laughter is such a turn on. At least she's enjoying herself.

"Please. I need to be inside you."

"Oh you do, do you? You woke me up. Just had to play with me. Now I'm playing with you a bit. Do you like it?" She asks.

"I love it. But I want you. I want you Katniss..."

"Like this?" She asks innocently and then lowers herself onto my cock quickly. Then she removes herself. I'm left panting. She's a gifted tease. Before I can respond, she does it again. A few more of those and I make actually come. It's so sexy and my eyes roll under my lids.

"I think I like it just like this Peeta." She says and stays on me this time and rocks back and forth to ensure closeness. I grab her hips so she can't escape me again and thrust into her. She gasps and then kisses me passionately. I engulf her tongue with mine and then pull her down so that I can suckle her breasts. She moans out loud and we begin to rock back and forth into each other. She feels so good. I don't know how long I can last.

After a few moments, Katniss begins to come unhinged. She grinds into me and I can feel her body building up to its release. When I hit her glorious spot, I feel her contract hard and she goes still in my arms while she receives it. I have a few more thrusts in me and I continue to pump her until she comes again and then I spill myself into her, both of us cradling each other in ecstasy. When we're all done, our eyes meet again and I rub her cheek with my thumb. Katniss pants and kisses me. "I love you, Peeta Mellark", she whispers. I kiss her harder and I can't control the negative thought that streaks across my mind. Will she love me when she hears everything? Will we be able to get out of it together? Will she really forgive me for leaving when she knows it all?

I pump into her a couple of more times and she continues kissing me. I break the kiss. "I think we both need a shower." She nods and I slide us off the bed and hold her by her ass. She giggles again and nibbles on my ear. She's gonna be the death of me. We damn near fall into the shower while I try to turn it on. Once the water is warm enough, I pull us under the stream and back her up into the wall, kissing her. Katniss blindly searches for the soap and dumps it on my shoulders. She lathers it and begins to wash me. The feel of her hands is like a little piece of heaven.

I break our kiss and pour some body wash into my palm. I rub it into her skin, her gorgeous breasts and keep her pinned with my hips right where she is. Her nipples harden again at my touch and she smiles at me in the soft light. "I think we need to wash down there Peeta." She points to our connected sexes. I hold her butt and she finds her legs, planting her feet on the bottom of the stall. I pour a little more soap into my hand and then begin to wash her nether region with it. Katniss smiles and then licks her lips.

"You have no idea the effect you have on me Katniss." I murmur.

"I could say the same about you Peeta." She whispers.

Katniss puts her hands over mine and we wash her body together. Our lips are an inch apart and I can't help but feel so lucky that we're both here in this moment together. It's taken us too long to get here. Katniss's hand travel to my penis and she washes me tenderly. I thrust into her hand as the muscle comes to life again. Katniss smiles and crashes her lips to mine. I pull her legs back up around my waist and push into her hard, connecting us.

Katniss is frantic in her kissing and claws into my back, trying to grind her hips into me in this strange position. I don't need her help. My want for her is enough to drive the both of us. I thrust into her over and over, until I feel her walls close in again. Katniss is yelling out in glory and it's a huge turn on. I hit her spot and she moans that she's coming. I can feel it and I fall over that cliff with her. When our breathing subsides, I pull out of her and release her legs. She wobbles when her feet meet the floor and I have to steady her. The water is still pouring down on us and I quickly wash my hair and then lather her tresses. I've always wanted to touch her hair in such an intimate way. We finish washing up and then I step out to towel dry. I hand Katniss a towel before securing mine around my waist.

As she steps out and begins to dry herself, I hear her stomach growl. The hunger that I was suppressing for food rears its head in my belly as well and it sounds as if we are singing some kind of strange tune. We both laugh and then I grab her hand and walk her down the stairs to the kitchen to eat. I turn on the stove and heat up the meat, hoping we don't get sick from it but we should be fine. The bread already had a towel over it and the greens are slightly soggy from their dressing but still edible. I pour a couple of glasses of fresh iced tea and sit down after heating up the meat.

"So, Peeta" she begins, "I'm ready for the story now." I nod and clear my throat. "How about you go first and fill me in on life back home before I tell you what happened with me? Mine is very long and detailed and I don't want to ruin a good meal and a wonderful night over it just yet."

Katniss raises an eyebrow. "Are you trying to avoid telling me?" I shake my head. "No, Katniss. I'm in love with you and I promise that before you leave here in the morning, there won't be a single secret between us. It'll be a fresh start. I promise. No more secrets or lies between us. I think we owe ourselves that."

"I'd like that Peeta. I'm ready to move on."

We finish our food over light chit chat about Evan and then I take her hand and lead her back to my bed. I have no intention of letting her go. She's going to hear it all and not move while I say it. We lay back down facing one another. Katniss begins to tell me her side of the story.

"You know, Peeta, you broke my heart the night you left. I never expected to develop feelings for you during the Games and when we got home and I began to reconcile all of those feelings, it took some time. I mean, I never pegged myself has being a wife or a mother. And I certainly didn't want to fall in love and risk losing the love of my life like my Mother had. When I found you that night, with that girl, I just couldn't believe it. I had never doubted your love for me until then. Then you followed me and things got out of control between us. Then you were gone. All you left was a note. It broke my heart. It broke me. I didn't get out of bed for two months. My behavior was enough to make Primrose snap on my Mother. She needed her help to care for me. When my Mother found me vomiting in the bathroom several days in a row, she examined me for pregnancy." Katniss begins to tear up and wipes a tear that escapes down her cheek.

I catch a second tear that escapes with a soft kiss to her cheek. I nod and she continues. "She thought it was Gale's because I had hardly spoken to you after we came home. She didn't know that I had feelings for you and had been conflicted about them. I had already made my decision to tell you how I felt about you the night I saw you outside the bakery. I had met Gale because he had something to tell me. He confessed that he had been seeing Madge and that she was pregnant. I was upset for my friend, of course, but what could I do? It happens." I kiss the knuckles on her hand and exhale in relief that Katniss had feelings for me and not Gale.

"When it was confirmed that I was expecting, she practically pulled me into town to visit your parents after the bakery had closed. I was a wreck. Your mother slapped me when I confessed I was pregnant with your child. Then my mother slapped her back. Your father was the voice of reason. They hadn't heard from you and had no idea where you were. We agreed to work together for the baby. I informed them that I didn't want you to know if you called them. I wanted to tell you in person, if and when I saw you again. It was only fair to do it in person, or so I thought. We agreed." Katniss takes a deep breath and squeezes my hand.

"The night Evan was born, I nearly died delivering her. I had pestered Haymitch to find you when my due date got closer. We already knew you were in the Capitol because you went on the Victory tour. My phone never rang to attend and I didn't seek it out. When the Reaping came around, only Haymitch was contacted. It was like I didn't exist and I was grateful for the anonymity. I was seven months pregnant and wouldn't have fit in anything Cinna could have made me anyway. I didn't even attend the reaping and I didn't watch. I locked myself away in my own world going out of my mind with worry that I was finally going to have to face the fact that you weren't coming back."

"Holding Evan for the first time brought me back to reality. That the way I had been living was horrendous. She was what was important. I couldn't have you, but somehow I was blessed to have a part of you in my life. When she was younger, her hair was really blonde. It darkened in the last couple of years. Her eyes were always so bright and full of life. She's an amazing little girl. Always so happy and making friends everywhere. She charms everyone. Your mother finally got the little girl that she always wanted in her life and it mellowed her out. I even cried when she passed away. She was wonderful with Evan. Gale and Madge of course were also great and their son Zander and Evan are best friends, attached at the hip. Given the circumstances, the odds were finally in my favor. I at least had a wonderful support system for raising our daughter."

I kiss her softly then. "I'm so sorry, Katniss. I missed so much of Evan's life. Her infancy, her first steps and words. The first time she shot off an arrow or baked cookies. I wish I had a do over. I would give all I had for one. You've done an awesome job. I could see it the first time I laid eyes on her. I'm glad that everyone stepped up to the plate when I didn't." Katniss kisses me again.

"I want to hear it all, Peeta. I want you to explain it all to me. Make me understand everything."

Moment of truth. I'm afraid to make eye contact with her. I take a deep breath and my eyes meet hers. "Katniss, what I have to tell you is really hard for me. I don't want you to leave when I tell you everything. I finally got you back after all this time..." I pull her tighter to me and hope for the best.

"The night I left, the night we were together, I felt like I forced you to be with me. I chased you because of what you saw and I was pretty drunk. We were outside. You didn't tell me to stop or really fight me too much but still, it wasn't the way it should have been between us. I felt like I forced you. I hated myself and I was mortified over it. All I could think about was getting away so I wouldn't hurt you anymore. You had told me that you stayed away from me because of your feelings about marriage and children. That you let me go and put distance between us so that I could move on with someone else. It was all so overwhelming. I just couldn't control my thoughts or emotions." She nods and looks sad at my revelation.

"I ran back to the house, packed a bag, left you the note and got on the train for the Capitol. I didn't know where to go but eventually I was brought to President Snow. He wanted to know where you were and I told him that we had broken up. He never believed that we were in love anyway so this caused a problem for him since we both survived the Games."

Katniss looks conflicted. She moves a curl out of my eye.

"How did our break up cause a problem for him? I don't understand."

I sigh and look her dead in the eyes. "Katniss, when someone wins the Hunger Games, they become a slave to Snow. He does things to them that you could never even fathom. He sells them to people in the Capitol."

Katniss looks confused and takes a deep breath. "Sells them? Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

I nod and look sadly over her shoulder. She's going to realize what I am saying in a moment. "Yes. He sells them for sex. And if you don't do what he says, he kills your whole family. Anyone that you love. He makes it so all you have left is him and his games. When I got on that train that night, I made the biggest mistake of both of our lives. I put everyone in jeopardy telling him we broke up. He wanted to sell us both." Katniss gasps and I put my index finger to her lips.

"He was prepared to kill everyone, Katniss. Prim, your mother, my family, Gale. He said everyone wanted us, especially you. The men couldn't wait to get their hands on you. I couldn't let it happen. I wouldn't. I was so stupid to go there. I did what I had to, to keep him away from you, I offered up myself. I would become his slave if he left you alone in District 12. No Victory Tour, no Reapings or mentoring. You could live your life in peace, or as much as you could find having been through the Hunger Games. In return, I had to sacrifice myself twice as much as any other Victor. Enough for the two of us. Because I lived there, I was readily available to clients."

Katniss looks ill. "How many people did you have sex with Peeta?" God, I'm going to vomit.

"A lot." I answer. Katniss looks startled even after everything I just explained to her. Like by me admitting that, I just made it real. "What's a lot Peeta? Fifty?" I don't answer her and she sits up in the bed.

"A hundred? Two hundred-fifty?" She begs for a number.

"Katniss, don't do this. I'm begging you. I did what I had to do to keep you safe. To keep everyone safe. Please, don't do _this._" I feel desperate to hang onto her.

"You can't just confess something so monstrous to me and expect me to not want to know the depths that you had to sink to for me. I want to know. Tell me Peeta. How many people did you _fuck_ in the Capitol?" Katniss is getting angry and frustrated with my failure to answer.

I sit up and try to grab her hand but she pulls away. I'm going to lose her. I can feel it.

"Many were returning clients, but it's still bad." I run my hands through my hair and pull on it. Then I rub my face in my hands, stalling again while her eyes bore into mine. _She's going to freak out. She's_ _going to leave me again. I fucking hate this._ "Probably closer to a thousand, Katniss." I feel like a knife has been stabbed into my heart from the look on her face. She loses all of her color and then wretches her dinner onto my bedroom floor. I reach out for her hand and she pulls it back. I feel disgusting.

"Katniss, you promised...please don't leave me? I'm begging you. Please sit down and talk to me. It's still me, Peeta. I've always been me. I never let the games change me and I didn't let Snow change me. You were in every thought I had. Every single woman, I envisioned her to be you. Pretended. It was the only way that I could get through it." I reach for her and she jerks her body away from me, shaking her head. I feel the sting of tears behind my eyes as I get up off of the bed and pull her into my arms. She thrashes about and tries to push me away as her tears start to flow.

Katniss rails on me. "IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER? If I fucked half of District 12, could you ever look at me the same? I waited for you, Peeta. I told myself that you would come back to me. That you meant what you said in that note." She pushes me aside and pulls her jeans off the floor and fishes a tattered piece of paper out of the back pocket and throws it at me.

I unfold it. Careful not to tear it further on the already frayed edges. There are a few rips in it. It's obvious that this note has been reread thousands of times. I look up at her and approach her. "Katniss, this note is real. I'm real. I made a mistake that cost us both dearly but I'm here. I won't lose you again. I won't. I'm not making that mistake twice." I can't believe she's kept it all this time.

Katniss disregards me and picks up her clothing. "It's a good thing that I finally have a say, Peeta." She storms out of the room and I hear her on the stairs. NO! I grab my boxers and pull them on as quickly as my leg will allow and sprint after her.

It's dawn now and I see Katniss rushing back to her house. I run down the sidewalk and pick her up from behind. Katniss starts thrashing in my arms. "PUT ME DOWN PEETA!" She screams.

Haymitch's door opens and he sticks his head out to see what the commotion is. I walk back to my house, kick the door behind me and throw her down on the couch.

"KATNISS STOP IT! JUST LISTEN TO ME! Ten minutes ago you were in love with me and now you're trying to escape again! I'm not done! There's more!" She stops fussing and I pace in front of her, trying to calm my breathing.

"After I came back here and saw you, met Evan, I went back to the Capitol. I knew that I had to leave that life behind and come home. And I wanted to. I've been waiting all this time to get up the courage to do just that. But it's not that easy. I took Haymitch with me and we went to see Snow. He was less than thrilled that he would be losing my services. He knew about Evan." She stills at my words and snaps to attention.

"Yes. He knew about her all along and never said anything to me. He told me that if I wasn't going to be parading around the Capitol as a prostitute, then there better be a damn good reason why. He said that several of the Districts have been uprising and that giving them something happy to focus on couldn't hurt. Seeing the star-crossed lovers of District 12 reunited with their beautiful daughter would be one such way to do that." I explain. "I wasn't going to tell you about Snow because I didn't want you to worry and I know that you're a lousy liar. When tonight started out the way it did, I decided to come clean and tell you everything. You told me that you loved me and I believed you. I want us to be together, nothing between us ever again."

Katniss's eyes bug out. "I don't want to go to the Capitol Peeta! I don't want my daughter exposed to their wicked ways. I waited for you for _so long._ It's been so fucking long! And now I find out you've been whoring around. My god it's like you ripped my heart out." She sobs uncontrollably and my heart breaks at the sight of her.

I kneel down to her and take her hands into mine. "Katniss, I'm in love with you. I always have been and you know this. I am NOT lying to you. I want to marry you and make everything up to you and Evan. But if we don't do this, I have to leave and return to the Capitol. I won't risk Evan being reaped or you getting hurt. I won't. Snow made himself very clear. We're either lovers or we're not. He's either displaying both of us or he's displaying me."

The silence in the room is deafening.

Katniss places her right hand on my left cheek and I lean into it, praying for a miracle.

"I'm sorry, Peeta. This is too much for me." Katniss gets up and walks out the door. I'm too in shock to do anything. I feel paralyzed. It takes me a moment to realize that she's gone and I rush out the door again. This time she's already made it to the safety of her house and I'm left standing on the sidewalk in my underwear.

Haymitch clears his throat and I turn to look at him.

"Good thing you've always got plan B huh? He says. I scrunch my eyes at him.

"I don't have a plan B." I answer. Haymitch chuckles.

"Well, it looks like you're fucked then."


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: You are ALL amazing! Thank you for reviewing and alerting my stories. Please check them all out if you haven't already done so. Xoxo**

***I'm looking for someone that knows how to set up tumblr pages with drop down boxes and themes. My beta and I are inexperienced with it. If you know how, PM me. I want your services and will give you credit for it. **

_**Thanks again as always to my wonderful beta fnur! You crack me up!**_

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games. **

**Chapter 7**

**Katniss POV**

I open my eyes to sunlight, boring into me, and making me go temporarily blind. I feel like the weight of the world is sitting on my chest and suffocating me. It's scary considering that's exactly how I felt last night before I went to bed and now I'm awakening to it again. I put the back of my hand over my eyes to shield them from the light but it's no use. I have to get up and face my day. Evan will want to know where I was half the night. I glance at the clock on my bare walls and discover that it's eleven o'clock in the morning. I am pathetic.

I struggle to right myself and get my bearings. I toss the sheets and blankets off of my bare olive skinned legs and stumble into the bathroom. I flick on the light on the yellow wall and turn the shower on. Stripping my clothes and setting the water to an uncomfortable hot, I get in. I don't move. I just stand there, letting the water wash off my activities from the night before. Washing Peeta off of my body. I don't know whether to be happy or sad. It took me so long to get him back and I couldn't have been more pleased at how our night had begun last night.

I've never wanted anyone but him romantically. Getting to spend the night with him in such an intimate way and confessing my locked away feelings felt refreshing. Having Peeta reciprocate those feelings was amazing. Spending that time with him inside me, earth shattering. I finally felt alive and sexy. Like a real woman. Like I deserved.

I wasn't just an abandoned single mother living in District 12, raising her daughter. Other men have asked me out before but I just never had eyes for anyone else. I just had my heart set on Peeta long ago, probably since the night he tossed me bread. I wished that I had realized how I felt sooner and things didn't happen the way they did. If I hadn't been scared, he would have married me as soon as we arrived back in District 12 from the games. I could have had my happy ever after.

My skin is feeling a tad red from the heat of the water and it's time to wash and get out. I wash my hair in my lavender shampoo and then scrub my body with an equally appealing soap. When my hands reach my private area, I flash back to last night and the pleasure that arose from there. I never would have imagined it possible. I was practically a virgin again. I got to experience it all over again with Peeta and I'm not embarrassed to admit that I enjoyed every moment of it.

I'm not stupid. Peeta is a man, a Victor, and was living in the Capitol. I knew he was involved in something that would benefit President Snow. Haymitch had told me as much when he discovered where Peeta had ended up all those years ago. What I didn't expect, was the depravity of the entire situation.

Peeta was innocent. He impulsively left here and made a mistake. I can respect that. When he explained to Snow that we were broken up, Snow offered him an opportunity to let me live in peace. Peeta felt that he somehow owed me that for taking my virginity and because he loved me. I can respect that. I'm not surprised that he let Snow whore him out to protect me and those we love. I can respect that too. What I can't _accept _is that it was with so many people.

I know it's not technically his fault and that he was doing as he was told, but come on. He was intimate, with so many people. He had to get turned on and perform. However it happened, he still thrust into them, the same as he did to me. His lips kissed them, sucked them and licked them, same as me. I cannot fathom being with someone like that and not loving them. I don't even think I could just go with a basic instinct, even to survive. I probably would have fucked a couple of guys and then thrown myself off of a building or impaled myself with an arrow. I could never do it. And more importantly, I don't think Peeta would ever be able to look at me the same if I did.

Ugh, this sucks. I'm so conflicted. I turn the water off, and step out of the shower to dry off. I get dressed and put my hair in a ponytail, too lazy to do my braid right now. I walk downstairs to get something to eat and make some tea. There's a note on the table.

"_Mom, went hunting with Zander. I'll see you later. Love, Evan."_

I sigh in relief that Evan is gone right now so I can wallow in self-pity. I can hear my Mother hanging laundry outside and talking to someone. It must be Haymitch. I sit there at the table and pull my legs up onto the chair, letting the tea warm my hands. The front door opens and Prim comes in with Jasper. He dashes to the open back door and chases the orange tabby that's been hanging around here. Buttercup is still alive and kicking but mostly wanders over at Prim's house since he hates me.

Prim walks over to the table and pulls a strand of my ponytail free. She looks me up and down and pulls the chair out to sit.

"Okay, spill it. What happened to you? Evan told me that you were over at Peeta's late last night. I want details." She said and gets up to fix herself a cup of tea from the still-piping silver kettle. She sits back down and I'm still a virtual mute. "I want some answers now or I'm going to go talk to Peeta." I sigh and roll my eyes at her. "Please don't?" I ask and shuffle around in my seat.

I lock eyes with Prim's blue orbs and I know I cannot escape her. May as well get to the point.

"I slept with Peeta last night." I admit. Prim's smile takes over her entire ivory complexion and she starts laughing and puts her hand over her mouth to stifle her giggles. "Way to go Katniss! How do you feel?" She asks. I shake my head.

"It was a mistake, I think. Yeah, it was a mistake. I got all wrapped up in the moment and it just shouldn't have happened. It would never work out between the two of us."

Prim looks at me in shock. "Katniss, are you stupid? You've been so happy since he visited and announced he was coming back for good. How can you say that? Even now, you look amazing. Like you're glowing. Was it not all that you expected?"

I shake my head. "No Prim, it was wonderful. I felt so alive and free. We confessed our feelings to one another too. I've never felt so content."

Prim raises an eyebrow. "So, let me get this straight. The sex was great, you told each other you had feelings for each other and you felt wonderful. Um, I don't see the problem here Katniss."

I take a deep breath and pick at a node in the wooden table. "Um, he told me that Snow had sold him to all kinds of people in the Capitol. When we 'broke up' it had to be explained. I guess Snow sells all of the Victors. Peeta made some kind of deal with him years ago to protect me and keep me out of Snow's clutches. Snow wanted to whore me out too. He also ensured that we would all be safe and no harm would ever come to us."

"So Peeta is kind of a martyr, is that what you're saying? He did what he had to do, not what he wanted to do. Are you faulting him for it?" Blue eyes cloud over in their irritation with me.

"I'm trying not to, Prim. I know it wasn't his fault. I know it. It's just when he told me how many people he's been with, I just kept seeing the town square full of people that _fucked_ the love of my life. I mean, it's the number that's freaking me out."

Prim shakes her head, takes the mug out of my hand and puts them on the counter. She opens the cabinet and takes out a bottle of white liquor and pours an ample amount into the mugs and rests it back down in front of me. We clink our mugs and Prim takes a healthy swig. She's gonna be walking back to her home half-drunk with Jasper on her hip. Rory will give me hell for it.

"Listen, Katniss. I think you've got it wrong. I think this is the perfect demonstration of your insecurities at their best. I know the sheer numbers spook you. They would freak me out too. But knowing the circumstances that surrounded all of those encounters, I think you can accept that. I think what you're truly afraid of is that you think you're not good enough for him. Sexually. Knowing that he has that much experience...I think you feel inadequate compared to some of his partners, or hell, even Peeta himself."

I blink at her and I don't know what to say. She's so insightful and it's possible that maybe that is what it is. That I'm afraid I'm not good enough in lieu of all those other women. I thought I did okay last night but maybe I performed horribly in the bedroom. I wouldn't know. I've only ever been with Peeta.

I sit there in contemplation and then down what's left if my white liquor. There's a knock at the door and Prim excuses herself to open it. I hear the words I was dreading. "Oh, hello Peeta." I pour the booze into my mug again, filling it to the rim and then just take a swig out of the bottle. I can't even deal with this shit right now.

Peeta steps into the foyer and Prim puts her hands on her hips and begins talking to Peeta. Just then our mother enters the back door with Jasper's hand in hers and a basket of laundry in the other, resting on her hip.

"Peeta Mellark, I have a bone to pick with you." Prim states and guides Peeta into the room and then puts her hands on her hips. "First of all, how _dare _you for leaving the way you did. You broke my sister's heart! Then she finds out she's pregnant...and well, you know the rest of the story. But then, you come back home, meet Evan and decide to stay. Great news? Well I thought so until I got here this morning!"

I gasp at her outburst, Peeta's eyes find mine and his face registers shock.

"I want to know what could possibly possess you to divulge to Katniss, pure as snow over here, that you slept with half the Capitol? _Who the fuck does that? _Huh? I know why you were forced to, and I commend you for trying to protect Katniss, but shit Peeta, did you have to tell her _all of it?"_

Peeta stutters for a second. "I knew she wouldn't take it well Prim but I wanted to be completely honest with her. I didn't want to start off on a bad foot again, no pun intended."

Prim looks aggravated. "So let me get this straight! You spent the night fucking Katniss _**before **_you told her about your past? I just want to be clear about your honest intentions!"

"Primrose Everdeen Hawthorne, how _dare_ you curse like that in this house! Don't make me wash your mouth out with soap!" Our mother shouts. Prim ignores Peeta for the moment and then rails on our mother. _**"This man took Katniss to bed last night Mother! I'm yelling at him for her. Stay out of it!"**_

Peeta and I both turn ten shades of pink. It's silent in the house until Jasper catches our attention while playing with a toy on the rug. "Fucking toy." He mutters. We all gasp and then mother lashes into Prim for her filthy mouth and the fact that it's rubbing off on Jasper.

Peeta ignores them and walks over to me, takes my hand into his and tugs me off the chair.

"Put your boots on. We're walking." He instructs. I do what he demands and then he takes my hand and leads me out the door. Before we get to the side walk I can hear my mother yell at Prim some more.

"That's it! Soap for the two of you!"

A/N: FYI people, my son said that when he was four years old and my mother tore my ass up. LOL


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Thanks for alerting/reviewing! I've been getting busier so if you want frequent updates, you must show me some love. It keeps me motivated! Be sure to check out my other stories too!**

**I also need to address a few things. **

**Katniss is essentially a selfish character. Even though I deviate, keep that in mind. She is not a naturally empathetic character, although she becomes more so throughout the books. But in the universe of THIS fic, CF and MJ have not happened. So Katniss reacting to Peeta's revelation with anger and not empathy is not necessarily OOC, in my opinion. **

**This is somewhat OOC for sure. It's not black and white. I'm working in gray area. Go with it. **

**I don't like my stories too heavy. I use Prim, Johanna and Haymitch to balance it out and inject humor. I like 'alive' Prim as opposed to dead Prim. Lets be happy she's in it. Family is important in assisting with child rearing so I gave Katniss her family. They don't put on airs, they're real. My sister would tell me I was being an asshole if I was. Know what I mean?**

**This is fiction. Have fun reading it. If it made you laugh, smile, cry or get horny, then I did my job.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games.**

_**Thanks to my beta fnur, we have fun don't we?**_

**Chapter 8**

**Peeta POV**

_That_ was awkward. Getting a tongue lashing from Prim, who was twelve the last time I saw her and had ribbons in her hair. I also didn't expect a potty mouth out of her at all, but I think Mrs. Everdeen is going to take care of that. I tug Katniss with me down the street. At first we're not going anywhere in particular but then I find myself heading towards the Meadow. I'm probably going much slower than Katniss can physically but she sounds like she's out of breath behind me. I just keep pulling her with me. She doesn't pull back.

When we reach the Meadow, I let go of her hand and she instinctively pulls it back to her body to protect herself. I don't know where to start. "Is it true?" I ask. Katniss's gaze leaves her hand and travels up to take in my question. "Is what true?" She responds.

I twitch and run my hand through my hair and rub my neck. "That you somehow feel inadequate? Did my confession make you feel like you weren't enough for me?"

Katniss crosses her arms in front of her swelling bosom. I can tell she's either preparing for battle or shutting down. "I don't know. Yes, maybe. Does it matter? It was a lot to take in all at once and I wasn't expecting _that_."

"Katniss. Please try to understand..."

She holds up her hand to silence me. "Peeta, make no mistake. Now that I've had some time to think, I understand. I probably would have done the same thing had the roles been reversed. I'm just in shock. I always thought that you left for much simpler reasons. I didn't realize that you were a victim too. I just assumed that you had a moment of clarity and that you didn't want me. It was easier to paint you as the bad guy, yet I still held out hope that I was wrong." Katniss begins to pace and vent.

"I always held out hope that we would be a family one day. I had no idea that the Capitol had a hold on you or that Snow wanted anything else to do with me. I was happy that those commitments went away without explanation. But forget that. You're back, last night happens and then I find out that you've been with so many women. The numbers were just a bit overwhelming. I mean, I've only ever been with you the one time. I knew you had to have been with other people but I just wasn't expecting that many. It was crushing."

I reach for her hand and she doesn't pull away. I feel somewhat relieved that I don't repulse her. I press my forehead to her and breathe in the scent of her. Surely she's already washed me from her body but I couldn't bear to do the same this morning before getting dressed. When I speak, my voice is husky.

"Katniss...every person I have ever been with...I've only been able to get through it by imagining that I was with you. I had to close myself off and just pretend it was you. I wouldn't have been able to protect you otherwise. And I didn't even know about Evan then. I am asking you to forgive me. To put the past behind us and move forward. I can't do this without you, I won't. You're it for me. You always have been."

I don't move. Her next words are either going to crush my soul or make my heart dance out of my chest. I prefer the latter, of course. Katniss and I are still, our faces inches from each other. I can hear a clock tick in my head. Counting down to the moment of truth. I say a silent prayer to get myself through this moment intact. I need to be prepared for her rejection.

Katniss runs her finger over my jawline and traces it. Her face pulls back until her eyes meet mine. "I'm sorry that I hurt you over my reaction last night. I just feel so inexperienced and inadequate after your revelation." This is not going well. Fuck. She continues on.

"But even with what I now know about your past, I can't deny my feelings for you any longer. I can't deny how happy I was when you came back. I can't deny the way you made me feel last night. So I guess my only option is to do this with you. Whatever this is."

I let out a breath of relief, one that I didn't know I was even holding. I pull her into a tight hug and her feet leave the ground. I press my lips to hers and waste no time pulling her bottom lip in between my teeth. Her lips part and my tongue slips inside, like it's the most natural place for it to be. A dirty thought crosses my mind about where else I'd like to put my tongue but we are out in public. I glance around and there's not a soul in sight. I bend my knees and take us down to the flowered ground.

"What do you think you're doing, Peeta?" Katniss asks and giggles. I pull at her pants and slip my hand into her panties. I look up again to make sure nobody is around and smile when I find no one. I slip my finger inside her and she bucks her hips upward in response. Katniss gasps and I remove my finger and reinsert it several times over, feeling her juices run over my finger. I had only planned on playing with her and getting her off but now that I'm with her, my cock is aching to be inside of her.

I pull her pants all the way off, Katniss kisses me urgently and she fumbles for my belt buckle. My senses give in to my need and I help her pull my pants off. I don't waste any time entering her. She moans when I do and I love the sound of it. I pull out and slip back into her a couple of times, spreading her own need around my cock and I love the feeling of it.

I push into her all the way and Katniss pulls up her knees to deepen our connection to each other. Her fingers are in my hair and she tugs on the locks at my neck while sucking on my right earlobe and pulling it between her teeth. Her tongue juts into my ear and she licks the inside and the lobe. It's a total turn on. She moves her mouth down behind my ear and licks and bites it. She probably doesn't even know that she's giving me a love mark. I smile to myself. Although I'm not a fan of hickeys, I love being branded by her.

I thrust into Katniss and hold her hands above her head, our fingers playing together. I kiss her deeply and trail my mouth everywhere her skin is exposed. I move down to her covered breasts and just nuzzle my head in between them. I suck on her left breast, through her shirt. Katniss moans as I pump into her and finally, I can't hold out anymore. _I want her. _

I release her hands and they instinctively encircle my torso. Her rugged nails dig into my back through my shirt and Katniss finds the hem and hikes it up enough to make contact with my skin. She trails her nails in lines on my back and I pick up my speed. My hands go behind her back and pull her into me deeper by finding purchase on her shoulders. I move faster as my cock throbs inside of her and like a slow build, I feel her walls contract and heat around me. I push harder until her orgasm consumes her and then I come with her, hard. My whole body pulses with the sensation as I come and I continue to thrust. I must have been in just the right spot because then Katniss pants and comes again as I'm emptying into her.

I smile at the flushed rosiness on her cheeks. She is breathtaking. I stroke her face with my thumbs and place a chaste kiss on her face. "Four down, a million more to go." I say through my placement of kisses on her forehead, eyelids, cheeks, jaw.

Katniss smiles. "I'll take each and every one."

We just barely had our clothes back on and righted when Evan and Zander emerged from the woods and into the Meadow. Katniss and I are still on the ground, I'm on top of her, when the kids reach us.

Evan smiles and asks, "Um, what are you both doing here?"

Katniss stutters for an excuse and then looks at me. "Uh, we were picking flowers and then laid down in the grass. It feels like old times." My eyes meet hers, hoping our daughter bought it. It's obvious Evan is pretty smart so I'm holding out hope that she's still naive.

"So you're Zander, huh? I've heard a lot about you." He looks like a mini Gale. He seems like a good kid so far.

Zander smiles at me and then distracts Evan. "It's good to finally meet you, Mr. Mellark. Come on Evan, I have to get to the Hob and get home." He pulls on Evan's hand and she follows him.

"Bye Mom, Dad. I'll see you back at the house." She calls to us. I look down at Katniss whose biting her bottom lip to stifle her laughter. I kiss it before she can make it bleed and then pull away.

"Remind me to give that kid a pastry."

_**A/N: 25 reviews gets you an already completed Chapter 9, just sayin'.**_


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Thank you once again for your reviews/alerts. They make me smile! (feel warm and fuzzy ;)**

**A HUGE thank you to my beta fnur- you're the best. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games. **

**Chapter 9**

**Peeta POV**

Katniss and I take our time leaving the meadow and returning to Victor's Village. As we embark on the short walk home, we hold hands until I finally just put my arm around her. Katniss extends her left arm around my waist and latches her fingers into my belt loops on my pants. My heart leaps into my throat from her desire to be closer to me. I've always wondered what it would be like to experience these kinds of moments with Katniss, walking and holding her close to me. The reality fills me with a sense of happiness and contentment that I did not think possible.

We walk in silence until Katniss speaks up. "So, what's the plan Peeta? Now that I'm clued in, what do we do? Play Snow's game?"

My imaginary bubble burst as I remember the predicament we are now in. "I think so. I mean, what else can we do for the time being? He wasn't pissed that I wanted to come back and work on things. He knew about Evan so he probably figured it would only be a matter of time before I came knocking. As evil as he is, he also thinks like a businessman. He needed an angle to spin my departure in his favor. I'm off the market because of you. But the people love you. All he needed was an excuse to break our deal and drag you back there."

Katniss rolls her eyes. "I have no desire to return to the Capitol, Peeta. I mean, short of seeing Cinna and the prep team again, I'm not interested. I'll make a sacrifice because of yours, but don't expect me to be happy about it."

I halt us on the trail and turn to face her, placing my forehead against hers. "You know Evan is going to have to go with us at some point? We won't be able to hide her for very long. Two Victors have never had a child. It's going to explode when the Capitol and other Districts find out." Katniss stomps her foot like a child.

" I'm not comfortable with Evan visiting the Capitol Peeta. She's going to think it's this great magical place. She's only ten years old. Even with the reapings and the knowledge that she does have about us, she's still going to be in awe. Remember on the train when you were gawking out the window? Yeah, ten years later it's going to be your daughter doing the same thing."

"I was young and stupid, wasn't I?"

Katniss nods. "I was too. I just couldn't get over the Capitol in general. So much excess when we have so little here at home."

I grab her hand and motion for us to continue walking. "Okay, so we both agree to keep Evan out of the Capitol for as long as possible. Okay, now I want to talk about us. What about living arrangements?"

"Living arrangements? What did you have in mind?" She asks.

I smile. "I'm thinking that you and Evan move in with me. I want to paint the walls and decorate a little bit, make it homier. But after that, I want my girls with me round the clock."

"Don't take this the wrong way Peeta, but you just got back."

I laugh. "I know, and I missed so much. I'm trying to make up for lost time. Plus, we're going to be living together eventually anyway when we get married."

Katniss stops in her tracks and huffs. "Whoa, married? You know how I feel about marriage, Peeta. I thought I would have a little time to warm up to the idea of actually _being _married. It's not you, it's just the piece of paper. It makes me think of my mother and her lost years."

I chuckle. "I didn't propose yet, but I plan to Katniss. You're not going to get out of marrying me. Even if we could, the Capitol will expect it. They're going to probably want a big spectacle for publicity and ratings."

"Now I'm definitely saying 'no' to marriage. No over the top Capitol wedding for me." She responds.

"Oh yeah? No marriage, no sex. I want the whole package Katniss. We both deserve the whole package, and so does Evan. If nothing else, we need to set a good example for her and right our wrongs. She's on the verge of being a teenager you know."

"Don't remind me. She came home with the information from health class about getting her first menstrual cycle and I damn near died. My mother thought I was sick and kept trying to take care of me. My brain hurt from all the over-thinking."

"Well, you don't have to worry about Evan with any boys before or after her period, because I'm here now. Isn't that was a father does? Chase away potential suitors? Speaking of which, on our way back I'm going to pick up a pastry for Zander and say hello to my father. Let him know I got in yesterday."

Katniss smiles. "What did you think of Zander? He's her best friend, you know."

"That's great. Her best friend has a penis. I'm sure someday I'll be cutting it off but until then, the kid is cool." I reply. Katniss laughs and smack my arm in jest. "What?" I ask. "You know he's gonna be hot for her. History always seems to repeat itself around here."

Katniss loses her smile for a minute. "As long as she doesn't get reaped, I'll be fine with any guy she's with. I just want to keep her safe." I put my arm around her again and pull her close, lay a kiss on her forehead. "Me too, Katniss. Me too."

OoO

A week has already gone by and I've fallen into a simple routine that is very comforting. Katniss and I decided to date a bit. Sort of reacquaint each other again before we make the big move. In the interim, I've been getting my house ready and planning my marriage proposal to Katniss. I've painted each room some sort of color and hung a painting in each room. I had several landscape paintings that I had left behind and I'm now putting them to use.

Prim has made several dried floral arrangements to place around the house. I've cleaned all of the furniture and appliances. I took the most time in Evan's room. Evan and I have been spending quite a bit of time together, in between school and gallivanting with Zander. At first, I was a bit put off that she didn't want to spend all her time with me, but Katniss reassured me that Evan was very much like her. She cares, she's just preoccupied with her routine.

Our evening dinners seem to be when we catch up and connect after a long day. It's tonight's dinner over roasted chicken, potatoes and carrots that I'm going to surprise her with her room. I had explained to Evan that eventually, when she and Katniss were ready, that they would be moving into my home. Evan was excited about it. I told her about how I was going to paint her room and I needed to know what her favorite color was. She was all too thrilled to tell me it was purple.

I wanted to make her room special. A gift from me to her. I painted the walls a light purple but for one. I kept that white and painted a ceiling to floor mural of the woods and meadow in it. Haymitch had called Effie on my behalf and asked her to send everything I needed to decorate a pre-teen girls room in purple. She didn't disappoint. I already had an unused bedroom set in the room and just refinished it in white to match the room. Katniss had been impressed with the room and was just as excited as I was to show Evan.

After our dinner, Katniss and I lead Evan upstairs for the grand finale.

I smile at Evan and lead her over to the bedroom door. "Okay Evan, here it is. If you don't like it, I'll strip the walls and start over. No worries." I'm so nervous that she'll be disappointed.

Evan embraces me in a hug. "I'm sure it'll be awesome, Dad. Ooh, I'm so excited!" She says while clapping her hands. I turn the doorknob and let the door swing open for the reveal. Evan gasps and places her hand over her mouth before stepping inside. "Daddy, it's amazing..."

My heart swells at her delight. I want to give her the world.

I place my hands on my hips. "Well, you're welcome here anytime honey. I want you to feel comfortable and break everything in. We all just have to go at our own pace, you know?" I say and look at Katniss. She sticks her tongue out at me. I do the same back to tease her.

Evan pulls Katniss's hand into hers. "Mom, can I stay here tonight? I mean, you've stayed over once before, and now I want to as well." Katniss gives her hand a squeeze. "You know what I think?" She asks. "I think the two of you should have your own sleepover and get to know each other better. I'll stay with Grandma tonight and turn in early. I have to hunt tomorrow anyway and get a couple of squirrels for your Grandfather."

I smile and nod. "I have to get up early and head to the bakery before dawn. It's my first day back, helping my father. But we still have a few hours left of the night and I would love to have you over, Evan. So, what do you say?"

Evan smiles and jumps up and down. "I'll be right back with an overnight bag!" She dashes out the door and I turn to Katniss. "You can sleep over too you know..." I lean in and kiss her. Katniss giggles as I move a strand of hair out of her eyes. "What's in it for me? You said no sex. I distinctly remember you saying that we were waiting until we were married."

I envelope my arms around her and pull her bottom lip in between mine until she gasps. "I said no sex, but nothing about playing. You want to stay over and play with me Katniss?" My tongue enters her mouth and she melts. Just when I think I have her, she comes to her senses. "Not tonight, Peeta dear. You spend time with Evan, you both need it."

I groan. I probably would have caved on the no sex ban but Katniss is right. Evan and I do need to bond. I give her a long kiss and feel her up until she giggles and pushes away from me. "I'll see you in the morning. Stop by the bakery on your way to the woods, we'll have breakfast or something."

Katniss tickles my side. "I'll see you after when I trade for bread." I shake my head. "Not soon enough." I lean in and kiss her again, entwining my fingers with hers. "And what's this business about trading for bread? You're marrying the baker. Just give him a squirrel. I'll make all the bread you want."

Katniss shakes her head. "I carry my own weight, Peeta. I like to be fair and you know it. I trade for what I need and what I can't trade for, I buy it. It gives me something to do and it keeps us all honest. We all need to get by but we don't like hand outs."

"You lose, I win, I'm making every piece of bread you put in your mouth until the day you die. End of story. Trade him for pastries or something but the bread is on me." I smile at her and she scowls.

"I don't remember you being this difficult, Peeta Mellark. You have once again surprised me." She gives me a chaste kiss and pats my butt as she walks away. I try to reach forward to give her a love tap on hers but she's too quick and scoots away. "Have fun tonight!" She calls out before she exits the front door. A moment later Evan comes in and bounds up the stairs to drop her bag into her room.

I call out to her. "Hey Evan, would you like some hot chocolate?" "Yes, please!" She calls back.

I prepare two mugs of hot chocolate and motion for her to sit down on the couch with me. It's too warm for a fire, but I smile at the fact that someday soon we can light one and do the same thing then. I appreciate the second chance that I've been given and thinking about the future makes me smile now.

"So, you really like your room? You wouldn't lie to me would you?" I ask hesitantly. Evan takes a sip of her hot chocolate, and blows on it some more. I can tell she burned her tongue a bit.

"I love it and no, I wouldn't lie. I love the purple. My room at Mom's is kind of plain. The mural is my favorite. I love all the colors." She replies. "Did you do all these paintings on the walls? They look so fancy. Like they're from the Capitol or something."

I chuckle. "I did most of these landscapes when I got back from the Hunger Games. I had been painting some pretty dark scenes, nightmares if you will. I hid them from your mother, she never saw them unless she saw a few on television while I was on the Victory Tour. I tried to get the visions out of my head so I just randomly painted landscapes from around here or I just dreamed them up in my mind. They remind your mother of the meadow, that's why I hung them."

I make myself more comfortable on the couch and Evan takes another sip before asking me her question. "How long have you been in love with my mother?"

I wasn't expecting her to ask that, and I take a deep breath. "I've been in love with her since we were five years old. My father had pointed her out to me because he had been in love with your grandmother way back when and I was just in awe of her. I can't really explain it. I mean, she was adorable. Red plaid dress, two braids, striking gray eyes. She was the polar opposite of me. And during music assembly she volunteered to sing the Valley Song and her voice just sent chills through my body. Even the birds outside stopped to listen. I was a goner. Your mom never told you all this?" Evan shakes her head.

"No, she said that you would tell me all about it one day. That you were the one gifted with words and she would screw the story up."

I smile at her. "No it's cool. I want to be the one to tell you."

"Did you ever talk to her?"

I shake my head. "No. I was a chicken. I kept trying to work up the nerve and never could. Ironically enough, I had planned to finally talk to her after our reaping when we were sixteen. I was just hoping that we could get through the day and I would talk to her in school. Have you seen our games?"

"No. Mom won't let me. She's afraid I won't look at her the same way again."

I squeeze her hand. "Listen Evan. Those games, they were a living nightmare. Being hunted by other children with no way out. We both did what we had to do to survive. Some of it was real between us and some of it wasn't. We committed unforgivable acts to survive but we did what we had to do. It was a fluke and pure genius that we made it through together. That _never_ happens in the Hunger Games and because of it, there are strings attached. If the Capitol didn't eat our love story up, I would be dead right now and you wouldn't be sitting in front of me." We both take a deep breath and I continue.

"After we came home from the games, things seemed to be moving in the right direction while the cameras were around but once they left, she basically forgot about me. I had a really hard time with it and I started drinking. We weren't talking and the nightmares were horrendous, hence all the painting. One night, after I had been drinking, she found me at a very low point and we were intimate with each other. I felt very bad about it, thinking that I took advantage of her and I got on the train and left. I figured that she hated me, I mean she had hardly spoken to me in months, and I wanted her to be free of me. I never looked back. I didn't want to stir the pot and hurt her."

My voice cracks with emotion and Evan pats my hand to comfort me. "I made a mistake in leaving, Evan. When I got to the Capitol, I didn't know what to do so I went to a very powerful man and I ended up making a deal with the devil. And I didn't just do it for me; I did it for your mother and our families. I had no knowledge of you, but this man did. It doesn't matter. I would have done the vile things that he had me doing, whether I had known about you or not. I wanted to make up for my actions and protect everyone back here. Everything I have ever done, has been out of love for your mother. I would kill for her, I already have. I would give up everything important to me, I already did. I would die for her, if it came down to it. I just can't live in a world where she doesn't exist."

Evan finishes her hot chocolate and places the mug on the table. Mine is ice cold by now. She looks over at me and smiles. "So that's what love is, huh Dad? Not being about to live without the one you love?"

"Yeah, pretty much. Come on, it's getting late. Let's go to bed." I help her up off the couch and wash up our mugs in the sink and set them out to dry overnight. I'll make her another mug in the morning if she wakes early alongside me. We head up the stairs and I escort her to her new bedroom. One that hopefully, she will be occupying full time. She hasn't changed yet, so it's not like I can tuck her in.

I give her a hug, kiss her forehead and tug on her braid. "Goodnight Evan, sweet dreams."

She smiles at me and begins to close the door. "Night Daddy."

My heart soars.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Once again, thank you for all this love. Please always REVIEW. You have no idea how much it really truly means to an author. I appreciate each and every one. Please check out my other stories as well as my favorites page for some great reads. And also follow everlarkrecs dot tumblr dot com if you ship K/P and tell Ashley that jlhumph sent you over!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games**

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_**and for letting me vent during this shitty week.**_

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**Chapter 10**

**Peeta POV**

The next few days go by and are wonderful. Katniss and I have a 'date' tonight and Evan spent last night over at my house again. She really adores her new room and I notice that she's been bringing a couple of things over each time she visits my house. She's working on decorating her room and making it more personal. It's a good sign. A sign that she's open to possibly living there full time one day soon.

The past couple of days have been an adjustment for me at the bakery. Not necessarily in a negative way, just that I had to re-acclimate myself to the daily grind. I have spent the better part of the last decade being relatively useless and with no trade. I still maintained my early morning rising, but only because I think I was born with that body clock. I am pleased with how comfortable it's been working there again. I know that my being there will ultimately lead to taking over for my father when he passes. I don't like to think about the fact that he's sick, but I'm enjoying our time together. I only wish I had even more time with him, but I suppose some time is better than none at all.

I'm kneading the last of the dough to set out for rising when the door dings and I hear my father greet someone. I glance backwards to catch a glimpse of the visitor and see Katniss striding to me. My face bursts into a huge smile and I lean in to kiss her cheek but she moves and catches my lips.

"Morning, beautiful." I say and she looks over her shoulder. "Is Evan behind me?" She asks. I roll my eyes at her and shake my head. After all these years, she still has no idea the effect that she has. She just doesn't appreciate her beauty at all. She doesn't realize that she's an amazing catch.

"Nope. The compliment was for you." I reply.

"I think you got flour in your eyes. Your vision is cloudy." She smiles at me and plays with her braid. I see a blush creeping up on her cheeks. I stop fussing with the dough and surprise her with a passionate kiss. My hands pull her towards my body and the dough on my hands will most certainly leave a pattern on her jacket but I don't care.

My senses come alive and we lose ourselves in the kiss. I pull back enough to speak. "The only thing I see is you. You're beautiful. Don't ever doubt yourself." I lean in and kiss her again. When we finally part to compose ourselves, I smile and can't resist the butterflies in my stomach. I give her a chaste kiss. "However, you're right about Evan. She's a gorgeous girl as well. Definitely got her Mother's genes there." Katniss smiles and then notices my hands. I look down, remembering that I got her jacket dirty and make my way to the sink to wash up. I nudge her forward with my arm and she just stands there and watches me closely. I steal glances at her and I feel myself getting aroused at the amorous look she's giving me.

I wash my hands and then pull her closer to me and hold hers over the sink, lathering her calloused hands with our plain soap and rubbing our fingers together. Her face, perfect with her olive toned skin, is facing my jawline. I can feel her breath on my face and I feel the heat crawling through my veins. My cock begins to twitch with excitement, no longer able to control its proximity to her.

"That feels really nice." She whispers. My eyes meet her gray ones and I feel my heartbeat speed up until I can't swallow. Katniss bites her lip nervously, trying to ignore the sexual tension, but I cave in first. I crash my lips to hers and tug on her jacket to remove it. She follows my lead and as soon as her arms are free, her hands find my hair and her wet fingers run through it. My hand caresses her cheek and then moves her braid away from the right side of her neck so that I can kiss the tender spot behind her ear. She moans when my lips make contact.

I pull her closer to me and her arms find their way around my waist. Then she does the unexpected and squeezes my ass. I gulp, mid kiss and I feel my self-control slipping through my resolve to have us abstain before marriage. It's not that I truly care. I just wanted to give Katniss an incentive to marry me sooner. I slip my right hand into the backside of her pants and meet warm flesh. I cup her ass and pull her into me as I thrust towards her. I feel my body shake with need for her.

I break the kiss, panting and place my forehead to hers. "Katniss, god, we have to stop."

"Why, Peeta? You know we don't have to stop." She coos into my ear and then she sucks on my earlobe and her hand connects with the outside of my pants. I moan into her neck. I feel my resolve crumbling. I pull away from her, shut the door and lock it and then she grins as I pick her up and place her on the counter. I scramble to unbuckle my pants and Katniss yanks her pants down in between our frantic kissing. As soon as my cock is free of my underpants, I push into her, entrapping myself within her warm walls. We both moan in relief.

I gently push into her and Katniss places her hands behind her on the counter to receive me better. My mouth can still comfortably reach hers and I continue to lavish her with kisses. I begin to pick up my pace thrusting into her and Katniss moans and gasps, saying my name lovingly in between thrusts. Hearing her turns me inside out and I feel my cock harden even more and I begin pushing harder into her to obtain relief. Katniss starts to moan loudly and I silence her with my mouth. I thrust wildly into her now, wanting to make her come and I'm rewarded with her walls tightening around me and we both come together.

My mouth doesn't leave hers, lips still moving in small circles, placing kisses on her mouth, at the corners of her lips, her cheeks. When I feel my cock go limp, I pull out of her and we both gasp in our kiss. I tuck myself back into my pants and then grab a clean hand towel and clean Katniss off, my eyes never diverting from hers. She closes her eyes and licks her lips. I don't think she meant to, but it was kind of erotic considering where my hands currently were. I pull the cloth from her body and my finder teases the little nub at her opening. Her eyes fly open and catch mine.

We don't speak or break eye contact. I slide my finger inside Katniss, her body already wet from before, and her head falls backwards. I move my finger in and out, already feeling my cock harden, and then apply a second finger. Her lips let a few sexy sounds escape and I take my fingers out of her and place them in her mouth to silence her. I use my other hand and find her wetness again, resuming where my other hand left off.

Katniss rolls her tongue over my finger and sucks on it slowly. I feel all my blood heat and pool in my nether region. I'm shocked that I was able to recover from our tryst so soon. Katniss continues to suck on my finger and uses her teeth to lightly scrape against it. I originally had every intention of just making her come again, but all of those thoughts have flown out the window. I remove my finger from her pussy, yank my pants open and pull her down onto me as I slam down into the chair near the counter.

We both gasp at the contact and our lips meet frantically. You would never know that we just did this a very short time ago. I pull her shirt up and lift her bra up over her breasts. My lips find her rosy bud and I suck on it, reveling in the scent of strawberry scented soap on her skin. I leave her right breast and travel to her left, kneading her skin with my fingers as I throb inside of her. We start to move in slow, circled thrusts and I pull her soft hips down to make our connection tighter.

Once we find our groove, it doesn't take long for me to make Katniss come. She's much tighter in this position and I go wild when she clamps down around me. My cock pulses inside her and I thrust as hard as I can to prolong her orgasm. I hit her sensitive spot and she comes again, taking me with her. I push into her another time, ensuring that I am completely spent. I rest my head against her chest and Katniss hugs me tightly to her.

"My father is gonna kill me." I mutter into her breasts. I kiss one and then look up at her face.

"Yes, probably. Better you than me." She hops off of me and then grabs the towel to resume my earlier failed attempt at cleaning herself. She tosses the towel at me as I zip up my pants and I catch it. I toss it in the wash and laugh as I approach her. "So, I'll see you tonight at dinner?"

"Um hm..." Katniss mutters as she kisses me.

"I'll bring something for dessert." I say in between kisses. I kiss her neck and then pinch her ass. Katniss squeals and swats my hand away. She pulls open the door and we hold hands as we walk back to the storefront. We stop dead when we find Mrs. Everdeen speaking with my father.

"Well, here they are now Lily..." Dad says.

Katniss stutters. "Hi Mom, what brings you here? Peeta left bread for us this morning."

"Oh, I was in town and thought I would stop by and say hello while running errands. I see you decided to say hello as well."

Katniss and I nod simultaneously. "Um, yeah, I was done with hunting and on my way home. Evan should be out of school soon. I was just going to wait for her." Mrs. Everdeen smiles.

"Well you might want to fix your pants before you do that. Your tag is in the front." Katniss turns red and I feel my cheeks blush. My father holds his hand over his mouth to stifle a laugh. "I'll see you at home, Katniss. Peeta, I'll be seeing you at dinner tonight?"

"Yes, Mrs. Everdeen." I answer politely, my voice betraying my nerves.

"Very well, then. Have a good day, Don." Mrs. Everdeen closes the door and Katniss runs into the bathroom to fix her pants. I wait on a customer who has perfect timing and then Katniss dashes out of the bathroom, gives me a quick kiss and says, "I'll see you tonight. Don't forget dessert." Then the door dings and she's gone.

The customer completes her order and I sit on the stool to collect myself. My father and I connect eyes again and he laughs. "What?" I ask.

"Go clean up that back room. You're having dinner with them tonight?" I nod in admission and he laughs. As I head back down the hallway, I hear Dad chuckle and say something under his breath.

"God, I would love to be a fly on that wall."


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Yes, I beg forgiveness. Working on the other two stories too. Life has been CRAZY. **

_**Fnur, you rock and I totally missed you. **_

_**JG, the reason why I have no time to write but am totally inspired. I love you. **_

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games. **

**Chapter 11**

**Peeta POV**

Today is the day.

Tomorrow Katniss and I leave for the Capitol, to attend festivities for the Victory Tour. It will mark the return of the star-crossed lovers and the Capitol has already been showing propos to excite Panem over our arrival. I hope that we don't overshadow the Victor but given the way I felt about winning the game myself. Katniss has been on edge, knowing full well the attention that will be lavished upon her visit. She's been worried about how the tour will effect Evan, and how she will respond to being back in the spot light. President Snow is sure to also have a few surprises in store for us. I'm sure there will be some kind of public proposal that he's planned, with Effie's help.

Things have been great between Katniss and I. She's moved all but a few things over to the house and I've been thrilled when she uses the term 'home' when referring to it. Evan has really put a lot of effort into getting to know me and I have done so as well. I wish I didn't miss so many special milestones in her life, but I'm grateful that I've been given a chance to be a part of the rest of them. Evan has been an integral part in planning my marriage proposal to Katniss. It hasn't been easy; Katniss knows that it's coming. At this point, she probably figures I'm going to let Effie run the show and plan something extravagant. Little does she know that I intentionally planned my proposal for the last minute to throw her off my trail.

It's the middle of winter here. The ground is covered in snow and my options are limited for outside interaction. Katniss has been home because there's no point hunting when all the game is hiding from the cold. My father is doing fine, but has taken to retiring early for afternoon naps. It's exhausting being a baker, never mind when one is sick. With Katniss being antsy at home, I suggested that she come to the bakery and help me. It would lend a much needed pair of hands, and we would get to spend time together.

It's been wonderful.

The District can't get over the two of us and someone is always making a comment about how adorable we look together. My father and I prep the dough and pastries early in the morning and start baking, while Katniss walks Evan to school. Then she comes to the bakery and works the front of the store for us. It helps tremendously. We seem to get more done and I've noticed an incline in business since Katniss started. I think everyone is just trying to get a peek of us interacting with each other.

When it's slow and my father has retired to rest, Katniss will watch me make pastries or prep bread for the next day. We've nearly gotten caught fooling around one too many times once we reach that point in our day. I've decided to set the proposal up the same way. I'm going to wait until Dad goes upstairs, I'm going to let the day roll by normally until she's watching me prep for tomorrow and then I'm going to ask her. I don't expect her to say no, although I will be catching her off guard.

Evan had spent a few hours the past two nights cleaning and prepping at the bakery with Zander. If I was going to do this there, I needed to make certain that all of the daily tasks were done and I was too preoccupied to get them all done. The kids really picked up the slack for me. Evan had delivered some meat, cheese and wine to the back door while Katniss was waiting on a customer. My plan is to close up tonight, suggest we eat there and then while finishing clean up, propose and move onto dessert.

The day has flown by and the time is fast approaching. Katniss spent much of the morning with me as per our new normal and then went home to clean the house and help her mother with hers. I've set up the back room with a small table covered with a green table cloth and adorned with an orange candle. After setting the plates, I begin taking out the ingredients for dinner.

Evan is watching the front of the store when I hear the bell chime and my name.

"Peeta!"

I know instantly that it's Katniss and rush out of the room, leaving the door open. I enclose my arms around her and hold her tight, not knowing what all the commotion is about. Katniss sobs into my shoulder and we all stare on in confusion at what brought on the outburst. After a few moments of trying to comfort her and assuring her that things will be fine, I feel the thorn in my arm. Katniss holds a single white rose in her hand with a small piece of paper, and the weight of her grasp has caused the thorns to pierce my skin.

"Ouch." It comes out before I can stop it and the single word brings Katniss back to me, and reality.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Peeta. I didn't mean it." She whispers and her eyes travel to mine. "You need to see this." Her hand extends and she places the now tattered piece of paper in my hand. I unfold the paper, staring at the white rose now in her hand. I know she didn't get the flower in District Twelve, the winter has seen to that.

Under my hands, the words I dread await me.

_Dearest Miss. Everdeen, _

_I wanted to extend my best wishes for your return to the Capitol. I look forward to seeing you and your beloved Mr. Mellark recapture the hearts of our great nation on the upcoming Victory Tour. I sincerely hope that your beautiful daughter will be accompanying you on the trip, I so look forward to meeting her. I am certain that someday, she will live up to her family name, and be every bit the Victor that her parents are. _

_With fondness, _

_President Snow_

The anger that rises to my face is evident as I pull Katniss into my arms. I squeeze her so tightly and my eyes close. The feeling of helplessness overwhelms me. I get lost in the moment and nearly forget that our daughter is still in the shop, helping me plan a most important and overdue proposal. I open my eyes and discover Evan stuck in a trance, is being coaxed back to reality by Zander. I step to my left, not releasing Katniss and pull Evan into my arms as well.

"It's alright, it's gonna be fine. I'm not going to let him hurt either one of you. We're a family now. They way we were always meant to be and I won't let his threats stop us from being together." I let go of Evan and place both of my hands onto Katniss's face, smoothing away her fallen tears with my callused thumbs. Her olive skin still shines even though she is upset and I cannot escape how beautiful she is, even when so distressed.

I wet my dry lips. "Katniss, I know that I have to absolute _worst _timing, but I need you to know something. You and Evan mean the world to me. I was such an ass so many years ago but I never stopped loving you, hoping that we would be together someday. I held onto that all the time I was gone. Even if I hadn't discovered Evan's existence, it wouldn't have mattered. All I could think about on the train ride home was you. I'm making you a solid promise right now, in front of our daughter, that I will love and protect you both until my very last breath. It would make me the happiest man on the planet, if you would be my wife."

My blue eyes never leave her stunned gray ones as I drop to one knee and pull out the ring I have for her. It was something I had seen in the Capitol many years before and I had immediately thought of Katniss upon seeing it. It's simple, something she would wear. A gold hand and a silver hand holding one another. It looks more like a promise ring and in fact, that's what it is. A promise to stay with her forever. Katniss takes a deep breath and a small smile crosses her face.

"You've been planning this? You really want me to marry you Peeta?" She asks.

"Of course Katniss. I want our day to be special, for us. Not for the Capitol or the Victory Tour. I want it to be special, private and not for public viewing. You mean the world to me and this is for us. We deserve it."

I rise to my feet, stumbling a bit in gaining my balance. I take her hand and lead her to the back room. At once, she knows that I meant for tonight to be special. "Of course I do Katniss. I had planned to ask you tonight. It's what I want, more than anything in the world. To call you my wife."

Katniss turns to face me and places her hands over my heart. I cover hers with mine and look down as her eyes gaze up towards mine. "I love you Peeta. Of course I'll marry you." The grin that encompasses my face is gigantic. I kiss her then, softly at first and then slightly more enthusiastic, until I hear Zander clear his throat.

"I'll walk Evan home now. Congratulations to you both." he says.

We break our kiss and travel the hallway to hug Evan again. We'll talk more when we get home but for now, I think it's understood that Katniss and I need this moment. Once the kids are out the door and walking home. I envelope her in my arms again. "I love you." I whisper into her ear.

"Let's just go home Peeta. All of this can wait until tomorrow. I want to spend our last night together before the tour and the cameras try to overtake us. I know it's been a crazy day, but tonight, you've made me so happy. I just want to absorb it all in tonight." Katniss takes my hand and flicks off the light. We lock the door behind us and walk in the same direction as Zander and Evan towards our home.

We make love all night.

Unaware of the time, I awake and pull on my pajama pants and a sweatshirt. I try to be stealthy as I descend the stairs and slip on my boots, not tying the laces. I creep out the door and head over to Haymitch's house, feeling the crumbled letter in my sweatshirt pocket. I walk right into Haymitch's house and approach his sleeping form on the couch. His blade at the ready in his hand.

I kick the couch to gain his attention and back up in case he swing his knife. His eyes fly open and focus on me standing in front of him.

"Get up. There's been a development and we need to talk." I say.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Things have been wonderful and crazy for me. I'm trying to wrap my last two stories up before tax season. I'm at a little bit of a crossroads with this story and it's direction so if you've got any ideas, please send me a PM. I'd love to hear from all of you. Thanks you for all of the reviews and alerts as always!**

**JG: Love you baby. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games. **

**Breathe Chapter 12**

Peeta POV

Haymitch clears the sleep from his eyes and looks up at me. I motion to the crumbled note in my hand and place my index finger over my lips to silence him. I step away from the battered couch and head to the bathroom, turning on the faucets to disguise the conversation. Haymitch follows me in and closes the lid to the toilet bowl, sitting on it, as he wakes up.

"So, tell me boy. What's this about a development?" Haymitch asks.

"This evening, Katniss came into the bakery all upset with this note from President Snow. I basically tried to calm her down and then used my impeccable timing to propose to her. It's a long story. Anyway, I want you to read this note and help me figure out a game plan. The train is rolling into the District in a few hours and I won't have the opportunity to show it to you."

Haymitch reads over the note and looks up at me, both of us sharing the same muted thought. Snow intends to somehow reap Evan into the Games. It's not a matter of how. Snow will figure out a cunning way to accomplish that. It's the when. Now, next year, five years from now? How do I prevent this? Make him see that it's wrong when the whole country applauds it. My daughter is ten years old and I've missed all ten of those years. I have to figure out a way to stay ahead of Snow and keep Evan out of the Hunger Games.

Haymitch whistles. "Well, we've got ourselves in quite a pickle now don't we? That old bastard is determined to stick the screws to you Peeta. You up and left him and his whoring business so I guess he's seeing fit to mess with you. What he probably doesn't realize it that he's not just messing with you, he's messing with Katniss too. He's going to bring out the mama bear in her and it's not going to be pretty."

"Haymitch, you haven't spoken to me at all recently about the rebellion since I've put you in contact with them. I know you feel as though the less I know, the more protected I am, but I need to know whats going on behind the scenes. I can't keep Katniss and Evan safe if I'm always in the dark." I reply as I run my fingers through my hair. I give a tug on a few curls, trying to release some of the tension and stress that's been building up.

Haymitch stands and stretches his legs. "Listen Peeta, the less you know the better and I mean that. I've done my best to steer clear of divulging information to you on purpose. You and Katniss are immensely important to the rebellion but everything must be executed and put into motion at the right time. If it's not, then it's all going to go to shit. And whether you like it or not, Evan is going to be a huge piece in this plan."

"The fuck she is Haymitch!" I seethe through my teeth. "She's not going to be a part of any of this! Katniss and I will never allow it!" I try to control my emotions because the water can only masks so much loudness in the bathroom.

Haymitch stands up and places his right hand on onto my left shoulder in a fatherly way, to comfort me. He gives my shoulder a small squeeze. "Snow is going to reap your daughter Peeta. You best accept that. She's a beautiful young girl, skilled in archery like her mother, articulate like her father. The blood of two Victors runs through her veins. She would be a favorite to win in the games. The day will come that she will be reaped. So we; you, Katniss, myself and the rebellion, can either do what we must to protect Evan and somehow stop and protest the Hunger Games, or we can just sit back and let it all happen. For that, we do need patience. Not what you want to hear but the less you know right now, the less the Capitol can squeeze out of you. Go on the tour and play along. We need all the time we can get."

I take a deep breath, resigning myself to the fact that there is nothing that I can do at this moment. Judging from what Haymitch has said, he and the rebellion have anticipated this move from Snow. My blood boils over again and I motion to take the note our of Haymitch's wiser hands. "No Peeta. I'll be needing that to show whom I need to. Confirmation is not a bad thing."

I reluctantly hand over the note and then turn the water off. "I need to get back to Katniss. I don't want her to worry if she discovers me gone." Haymitch nods and I retreat from the house and walk back over to mine. I lock the door behind me upon entering and carefully take the stairs one at a time to the second floor. I check on Evan, her door slightly ajar and place a single kiss atop her forehead. Making a silent vow to protect her at all costs. Then I close the door behind me and enter my bedroom with Katniss. I strip off my pajama bottoms and climb into the bed, cuddling her from behind.

Katniss rolls over. "Did you tell Haymitch?" She asks. I roll my eyes back into my head and chuckle.

"Yes."

She smiles. "Did he tell you not to worry about it and that he would take care of it?"

"Not exactly in those words, but yes, more or less." I respond. I kiss her forehead and gaze into her eyes. I can see the outline of her face in the moonlight and her beauty still makes my heart pound.

Katniss responds by planting a kiss near my adams apple and then a peck on my lips, then whispers into my ear. "Then that's all I need to hear Peeta. Haymitch would walk through fire for Evan. He'll kill Snow with his bare hands if he has to. Let's just go to sleep. Tomorrow is going to be a big day."

I pull Katniss into a long kiss and then hold her close until we both fall asleep.

Unbeknownst to me, Haymitch is wide awake, thinking about the situation. He pulls on his clothing, black boots last and slips into the night while watching the neighborhood carefully. He trudges through Victor's Village, through town to the border and knocks on the door to a small house. When the man of the house answers, he steps into the house and the fireplace lights up the worry on Haymitch's face.

"Gale, it's time." He says.

**A/N: I know it's super short, a filler, AND I'm kind of stuck. Send a few ideas to get my mind rolling and I'll give you a shout out in chapter 13. Thanks for all of the love! Follow me on twitter and tumblr jlhumph**


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